As I whined about previously, I had two banquets to attend this week for work. In my pre-band life, these made me very anxious. Would I get enough to eat? Would I be hungry throughout the evening? Would people think I was a pig if I heaped my plate full? What fast food would be open on my way home in case I was hungry? How many desserts could I eat before someone started counting them? These thoughts came fast and furious. And they rarely stopped long enough for me to even concentrate on whatever banquet/conference/meeting I was attending.
This week, however, my attitude at the banquets felt different. I took what I wanted, ate what I wanted, and put my fork down. The end.
Ok, not really the end, as I wasn't full per se, but I wasn't starving either. The best part, though, was the lack of anxiety over the food at the event. It's JUST banquet food. Why oh why did I ever let it make me anxious? I mean, who even likes banquet food anyhow? It's all the same - some saucy chicken, some butter-drowned-over-cooked veggie, and some dry starch. It's nothing to get excited over and certainly nothing to get anxious over!
I think part of what also played into the disappearance of the anxiety is the fact that I have discovered that hunger does not indeed kill you. It really doesn't! The band has dimmed my hunger enough that I can manage through it. I certainly am hoping next Wed's fill dims it a whole lot more, but I am learning (and managing it as well) how to deal with hunger more effectively. There is ALWAYS food available to me. I don't need to be anxious about it's availability or lack thereof. If I want something, I can have it. Maybe this is also tied into my non-dieting. Since nothing is really off limits, it doesn't call to me like it used to.
Whoa, I just reread what I wrote, and I guess I really am coming around mentally. Maybe they did band my brain after all!