Wednesday, July 18

I've stopped crying.

And now I'm just bitching!

OK, not really. I am MUCH better than I was 24 hours ago.

I saw Dr. D again this morning. There was some confusion, as I thought they had rescheduled my surgery for 8/24 (instead of 8/31). But it was really scheduled for SEVEN/24. Um, that's next Tuesday. And I no can do. I am in Milwaukee for work, flying with my son there on Sunday and both kids back the following Sunday. And throwing my BFF's baby shower while I am there. Just really not workable. The next available option he had was 8/17. which was 3.5 weeks later. That made me cry (#1 cry) - I had to choose between living with this thing inside me that could potentially ruin my stomach even more and mucking up my BFF's one and only baby shower and my kids' summer vacation plans.

Fortunately, Dr. D is the most AWESOME doctor on the face of the earth. He worked me in on 8/3, so I don't have to move heaven and earth, AND I can get it done sooner (#2 cry).

The bad news is my band is FUCKED UP! For real. If you've seen your band on film, you know it should look like a slash, '/'. Mine is a perfectly round, big, open, 'O', Yep, it has not only turned, but it has flipped and twisted. Which means my poor tummy is being drug up and through the O and then back down. Not good. He said he's seen worse though. I am thankful for once that my overachieving ways didn't have be in first place.

He can't believe I don't have any restriction based on the band's position, but I really don't. Oh, also, my band has ZERO fluid in it, even though it should have 9cc. Yep, it is a mess. I wonder if he'll give it to me as a souvenir!

Sooooo, dear friends, it's bad enough that I have to wait at least FOUR MONTHS between surgeries for my poor tummy to heal (#3 cry).

BUT because Dr. Dr is seriously the most awesome doctor ever, he reassured me that I am NOT to worry about weight gain. He wants me to focus solely on letting my tummy heal. He said he doesn't care if I lose 10 lbs or gain 50 lbs between now and my sleeve, he just wants to see me healed (#4 cry - it was an ugly, snorting, contorted, snotting cry). He said I will get it all off and then some with the sleeve. In fact, he insisted I will be sitting in his office a year from now asking for plastic surgeon referrals because I'll have lost so much weight (#5 cry). It seems impossible, but I know it is true. Whether I have the surgery now or in a few months, a year from now, it won't really make a difference.

There you have it - the latest and greatest from this battling bandster. I have finally stopped crying. I'm still not happy at the prospect of being restriction-free for an additional five months or so, but it is what it is. I didn't have restriction for about six months with the band, so I just need to get in that same head space and do what I need to do.

Thanks for listening and all the supportive comments. Our little blog sisterhood is truly the best!

Tuesday, July 17

If I can stop crying long enough...

I'd post about how I have another slip. Which means:

  • TWO separate surgeries.
  • MORE expenses.
  • LONGER that I have to wait to get the sleeve which means that much longer I have to fight this stupid hunger.
I am meeting with the surgeon again tomorrow to iron out all the details. Right now, it looks like the band removal will be 8/24. Once he's in there and sees what kind of damage has been done, I'll have a timeline on the sleeve. Fingers crossed for sooner than later, obviously.

I'm quite upset. Quite. I cried through a conference call at work today. Fortunately, I didn't have to do much talking.

On another note, is anyone on MyFitnessPal? If so, let's be friends. Today is day two of low carb. I need LOTS of accountability!

Monday, July 16

Update on my naughty band

I finally, FINALLY had my appointment with Stephanie and Jacquie's surgeon today. First, he is AWESOME. I could cry - he listened, understood, and helped. Which is more than I can say for my last surgeon.

He reassured me I would lose this weight I had gained, that I had not failed the band rather the band had failed me, and that he still considers me a success, even with the weight gain and bummer band. I can't even tell you how much I've been beating myself up over this weight gain. I HATE it. I was SO in control, and now? Well, let's just say I haven't been full in six months, I constantly think/dream about food, and I have about four pairs of pants that fit.

We talked about the options:
  • Fix/replace the band. As he said, and I would agree, I have been successful with the band. However, in light of my recent issues, the overall band complication rate, and my age (young-ish) combined with my original BMI (very high), I probably need something that is more permanent than the band. In addition, fixing/replacing the band is nearly as expensive as revising.
  • Bypass. Great long-term success rates. Still the gold standard in WLS.
  • Sleeve. He likes the sleeve because it has the same long-term success rates as bypass with less reliance on vitamins and supplements since it is not malabsorptive. 

Here's the plan of action:

  • Upper GI today to determine if I have another slip. I will know the results tomorrow.
  • If no slip (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE), then I will have the band removed and revise to sleeve in one surgery on August 31. This would be ideal, since I am self-pay and am not loaded.
  • If I do have another slip, then the band has to come out first (mid-August). It would be another SIX FREAKING MONTHS until I can revise, so my stomach can heal. Ugh. For both my waist line and my wallet, this would be a bad option. Therefore, I CANNOT have another slip. It is just not an option.
  • The surgeon who did the Upper GI said he did not see ANY restriction nor a slip, although the band is a little lower than he would expect. He was going to discuss with my surgeon, who is supposed to call me tomorrow. I am very hopeful that it is just a leaky band based on his findings and the band's behavior. Fingers, toes, everything is crossed!
The thing that has really sold me on the sleeve vs. bypass (since Amy W. asked) is that there are still revision options with the sleeve. You can still revise to bypass, which I obviously hope to not need, but I hoped that with the band as well. With bypass, you are pretty much at the end of the road, except for duodenal switch, which is a very involved, invasive surgery. I asked him, "If a perfect solution for obesity is discovered in 10 years, would you rather walk into it with a sleeve or bypass?" He answered sleeve, since your anatomy is less changed. And that was all I needed to know.

Please, if you are the crossing fingers, good thoughts, and/or praying type, can you do a little extra for me tonight? I really, really, really need to not have a slip! Thanks!