I felt normal.

I think writing this post is going to make me cry. Oops, here come the tears. Today was the first time I realized that I am a totally normal weight by US standards. I realize I am still fat by 'normal' standards, but it's not the type of fat that prohibits me from doing what I want to do.

I took my kids to a waterpark today with 3 other moms and their kids. They have only known me since I moved to FL, so they've known me since about 290 lbs (I'm now 249 lbs). Which is heavy, but not 374 lbs heavy. Anyhow, we walked up millions of steps, I carried a kid on my shoulders with another on my hip, I crawled through water tunnels, I went down water slides, I swam and ran and chased kids and walked around in my bathing suit for four hours without ever once thinking about it. I didn't dread the steps, I didn't dread the tunnels, I wasn't afraid of weight limits on anything. It was worth every second of this journey. My kids had so much fun, and so did I!

It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had no problem keeping up with the other moms. Not to mention, they are all younger than me, each only had one toddler to chase, and we stayed about an hour longer than any of them! I rocked that waterpark!

The only bummer is my legs look A-to-the-W-to-the-FUL. Seriously. My thighs were horrible when I was really heavy - tons of cellulite and super lumpy/bumpy. Now they are still full of cellulite and lumps, but they also have saggy skin and look a bit like a melted candle collided with elephant skin. Not attractive. At all. Absolutely my worst body part. I almost wanted to make a sign for my back that said, "Don't mind the legs, I've lost 125 lbs!"

In other news, I lost 1.6 lbs this week for a total of 14.4 lbs (I think) in 3 weeks of low carb. DH lost a lb (hahahahaha) for a total of 21 lbs in 3 weeks. He was whining (hahahahaha again) about only losing one pound.

I finished day 9 of shredding today. I soooo did not want to do it last night, but I did and am glad I did. Tomorrow is the last day of level 1! WOOHOO!

The pizza turned out pretty good. I'll type out the recipe tomorrow. We had Chinese chicken lettuce wraps last night and taco salads tonight. Can't say I'm bored with the low carb choices with everything we've eaten. I think I'm going to make crab cakes for tomorrow. Or shrimp scampi. YUM!

OK, off to read my book. I've got four going, but "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" really is good and I'm anxious to read more. Toodles!

It's a bullet-type day.

• One of the icky side effects of low-carb is dry mouth. Ugh, I am so stinkin' thirsty all the time. I can't remember if or when it does away, but I hope it's soon.
• One of the good side effects of low-carb is (TMI) no gas. I am such a gassy person (yes, TMI), and I swear, it's sugar that causes it in me. It's nice to not constantly feel like a pin would pop me!
• DH is having a hell of a time dealing with doctors and orders being taken care of and all that. He's so frustrated, and while I understand, he seems to think this has never happened to anyone else and that he is special. I've tried to explain to him that this stuff happens to everyone dealing with medical stuff.
• Speaking of DH, he is in tremendous pain, and while I understand (again), he has GOT to find a way to deal better, or I am going to kill him. He sits with his leg straight out in front of him, no brace, and then yells at the kids when they trip over his leg. Well, what do you expect when it's sticking out like that?! And then it happens again 5 min later, and well, duh, yes, you didn't move it and it happened again. I don't find that all that shocking.
• I begrudgingly did day 5 of shredding yesterday. I forgot to do it in the AM. By the time we got home at 9:30 pm last night, I was wiped. I sooooo wanted to skip, but I didn't, and I really did feel energized when I finished.
• Have some soup in the crockpot, made with leftovers from yesterday - ham, steamed broccoli/cauliflower/carrots, and chicken stock. Later on, I'll add cheese and cream to make it tasty! Hope it turns out good.
• It's just kind of rainy and dreary today, and I'm just feeling here. Not blah, not unhappy. Just kinda here.
• And last but not least, a pic of my kiddos from yesterday. Aren't they the cutest?!

My baby is TWO!

My sweet and stubborn and sassy and temperamental and completely adorable and little-guy-who-has-my-heart turned TWO yesterday!

And no, I did not indulge in a cupcake. YEAH ME!

Day 11 of Atkins here. I haven't weighed myself yet this week. Figured I'd try to stay off the scale for a week.  Not sure I can do it. It's amazing how when I'm diligent with my eating, I can't stay off the scale, but when I'm slacking, I can't convince myself to go anywhere hear the scale!

Nothing much else is going on. The kids and I are hanging out today while DH works. We were going to go to a kids' festival, but life is about to get crazy and it's supposed to be 90+ today, so I think we'll skip it. Tomorrow, I'm taking pictures of a friend's family, and then they are staying and watching the kids so DH and I can go out for a few hours. We really need it. We've just been picking at each other lately. DH has had the "induction flu" since starting Atkins, which is where you feel like crap from cutting the carbs. I have tried to take it easy on him, but the more I back off, the less he does. Honestly, the man has NO responsibilities other than to go to work. I cannot name one thing he does around the house or to contribute to our family on a regular basis. I'm starting to get a tad frustrated to say the least. I think a few hours to relax together will help, since I honestly can't remember the last time we had a chance to go somewhere alone.

Later, gators!

Braggy Braggy Post - Photo Time!

You know I love sharing photos, so here are some recent ones...

Isn't she sweet? Reminds me of Shirley Temple!

Sweet Twins!

Such adorable sisters!

Just love the cheesy grins.

Can you say ATTITUDE?!

Love that grin!

He hated being on his belly!

How come double chins are so cute on babies?!

My little ballerina!

I think this is my new favorite picture of DD.

Sweet girl!

Cannot believe he'll be two next week! My little man!

Don't let him fool you - he's a pistol!

My sweeties. 

Type A

Oh, how I wish I were talking about my personality. Instead I am talking about the flu. Yep, we were struck with influenza type A. It's been awful. Just awful. Two weeks of sickness. I'm not sure what the worst part has been - two sick toddlers or my band HATING the phlegm. I finally have given into liquids for a few days, as I was PB'ing everything I ate.

So, I'm sorry for disappearing once again. It was completely not intentional. Believe me, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!

Quietly sneaking in the back door...

I feel like I am trying to sneak in past curfew without waking my parents up...

Assuming you'll all take me back, thank you for letting me take a break. I desperately needed it. My head feels back on straight. I'm no longer feeling down. I'm happy and me again. I don't know exactly what it is that happened, but a break from thinking about my band 24/7 and focusing on the rest of my life certainly helped. I will say that it's been so nice just 'living'.

Here's a run down of what's been going on the last 5 or so weeks:

• 5 rounds of company for 17 days straight. We finally got our house back yesterday.
• DD turned 3!
• I lost 1 lb.
• My restriction is coming back from my unfill. I just tried to eat chips - um, not so much.
• My BFF got engaged. She's getting married in Paso Roblos next March, so it gives me something to aim for once again.
• I forgot where the gym is! Better get in gear considering my first half-marathon is 3 months away.
• I've inched towards my 1-year bandiversary, which is tomorrow! Stay tuned...

Gotta go check out what you guys have been up to. I can't promise to not disappear again, but I can promise to only do it if absolutely necessary.

And in the mean time, check these out - I'm welcoming myself back by sharing a few new pics of the kids I took this weekend...

The Kiddos

This is a totally braggy, proud momma post. Just warning you up front in case you don't wanna puke a little in your mouth.

On the off chance you don't have the details of my life memorized (haha!), DD will be 3 next month and DS is 17 months old. They were so well-behaved, so cute, and simply, adorably perfect this weekend. They did a pretty good job of walking up the aisle, although DS did not want DD to hold his hand. But they made it. When they got to the front, DD turned around, jumped up and down with her arms in the air, and announced to the room, "YEAH! I did it! I DID IT!" Everyone in the room roared with laughter. I beamed with pride. They danced the night away at the reception and were (mostly) good as gold, other than DS who is a 'bolter' - if he sees an open door or any expanse of open space, he bolts. Immediately.

Anyhow, here are the two loves of my life with a few of DH and I thrown in for good measure:

At the rehearsal

I think he's thinking, "What can I get into next?"

Typical Elise attitude.

Beckett with my brother (who actively works to gain weight)

The fam

Tackle!

MY best man. <3

My mini-me!

Lookin' good, if I do say so myself!

With my kiddos (and two boobs about to break free!)

Typical Beckett tantrum.

My little girl - I just love her!

Looking for his next escape route.

Elise and the bride.

My worldly traveler.

Thousand Word Thursday #2

Well, these are pics of stuff from our old house; we're renting a furnished place right now, so most of my stuff is packed up in the garage, waiting for a more permanent place. Anyhow, I have to share two; I just couldn't decide between the two.

The first is a wall of photos of my kiddos. As you all know, I love photography, and I love my kids. And I love how this display turned out, even if some of the stuff was crooked when I took the shot!


The second is a shadow box I made for DD's nursery. I am huge into family heirlooms, and her whole room had a 'family heirloom/tree' theme. I loved it! This particular shadow box has an outfit that was my mom's when she was a baby, hand-knit by her grandma. Two of the three bibs were my dad's; the third was my mom's.

That's a good band.

I don't know what kind of magic each of you has up her (his) sleeve, but man, all I have to do is complain to you guys and BOOM! like magic, it's better.

My band is MUCH better today. I'm sticking to liquids just to ensure it's all the way better tomorrow. And guess who made a quick appearance? Aunt Flo. Hmmm....

Oh, and the scale is down 1 lb bringing me to a cool, even 110 lbs lost!

The kids and I ran a few errands today, and while we were out, I thought I'd try on some shoes in anticipation of the dress I'll be wearing to the wedding. It's amazing how much better strappy heels feel at 264 lbs vs. 374 lbs!

One of the fun things about this size is I can wear an XXL in misses or a 1x in women's right now (on top), so I have twice as much to look at when shopping. HA! Strangely, I would have thought I'd run to the misses section, just because I could, but in reality, I gravitate towards the women's section. Maybe because it's what I am used to? Maybe because I feel like an impostor in the misses section? Likewise, I don't EVER look at pants in stores other than LB, because I've been bigger than a 24W for so long. I can now wear 22W on bottom in most stores (24 from Target - jerks!), but I find myself not even looking. I guess I need to recondition myself. I could do it like one of Pavlov's dogs - put some chocolate in the misses section and near the pants in order to entice the fat girl to come over? (In case my writing isn't as funny as it sounds in my head, that was a joke!)

Anyhoooooo, off to accomplish something while the littlest one sleeps and the bigger one 'relaxes' in my room. My 30 min of alone time for the day!

Lots on my mind...

Sorry for the post and run last night. Life kinda exploded around us...more about that in a second.

But first, weigh-in day, and I am down 2.0 lbs this week!!! Bringing me into the 260s and 105 lbs lost. This band stuff rocks!

So, the life exploding thing. I don't know if I can make this long story short, but I will try. Ok, I'm not even going to try, it's not going to be short.

As I've mentioned, DH, DD, and DS are in BIL's wedding in October. I like BIL and SIL quite a bit (or did), and DH & BIL are very close.

I don't much care for my MIL, but I try to be nice, and a good DIL, since DH isn't good about sharing updates about the kids and so on. I called her last night to say hi, and we ended up chatting about the wedding. I mentioned in passing that I needed to call SIL about my mom coming to the ceremony (just to help me get the kids down the aisle as they are 1 and 2 years old...she was getting a hotel room so she could watch them after dinner, so DH & I could enjoy the reception). Didn't think about it again until...

Within an hour, DH's phone was blowing up with text messages from BIL. About how rude I am to assume my mom can just come to the wedding and reception. How dare I. How it's not my wedding and I don't get a say. And on and on and on.

So, I am pisssssssssssssssssed:

1. I said I would call SIL. MIL had NO right to run and gossip like a 12-year old girl.

2. I never said my mom was staying at the ceremony or even coming to the reception. The plan was for her to stand in the back while I stood at the front, so the kids would walk towards me. That was it. She wasn't even going to sit down. Then she'd go hang out in her room until we brought the kids up later (the wedding+reception are in the hotel we are staying at). I would never presume to invite someone to a wedding.

3. How dare BIL assume I'm so rude as to invite my mom. I would never do that. I was going to discuss with SIL if that was how she wanted to handle the kids. If not, fine. It was just an idea I was going to run past her.

4. My mom was going to go to considerable expense and trouble to be there to help us, which in turn helps BIL+SIL. But if it's not wanted, we won't do it.

5. Weddings are public affairs. Etiquette says anyone can come to a wedding (obviously not if it is on private property). But again, I wasn't saying my mom was coming to the wedding, just for the first two minutes. And I wasn't even saying she was coming. I was going to OFFER IT AS A SOLUTION to SIL.

I am beyond livid with MIL and BIL. MIL pulled this shit earlier with the wedding stuff, too, telling SIL I was offended I wasn't invited to the shower. I wasn't offended - MIL mentioned that the shower was last weekend when I was talking to her a few weeks ago, and it caught me off guard, as I never received an invite, so I said, "Oh, I guess I wasn't invited." She obviously ran to SIL and said something to her, because I got this long, hairy email from SIL with all these excuses as to why I wasn't invited. Whatever. I do find it odd that as the only SIL, I wasn't invited. But I wasn't offended, just figured she had her reason. I don't get offended by that stuff. To be honest, I think the whole big wedding thing is silly. I've been married twice and neither was a big, traditional affair. Just not my thing, so I certainly don't get offended over it.

Anyhow, I am so mad that I am serious when I say I am perfectly happy to stay here with the kids while DH goes to Ohio for the wedding. It's going to be hugely expensive for us, and if they don't really want us there, I am more than happy to not go.

As for MIL, I am done. Done. Done. Done. This is just the latest in a long list of ways she interferes with our lives and likes to cause drama. I think I've mentioned previously, but when DH was traveling for work (Mon-Thur for 15 weeks, and then gone for almost two months straight), MIL offered to help me exactly twice. And she lived 1.5 miles away. I didn't expect anything from her, but then she boo-hoo'ed to BIL about how we were moving her grandkids away from her and she'd never see them blah blah blah. Well, if you wanted to see them so bad, you could have come over any time for the 5 months I was home alone with the kidds. Oh, and when that happened (the boo-hooing), BIL called DH and bitched him out for taking the grandkids away and breaking MIL's heart. Well, let's see, DH had been unemployed for six months and finally got a job. It just happened to be in FL. So, she thought we should be homeless and hungry rather than move where the work is, because it inconvenienced her. It's just never ending with her.

Oh, have I mentioned that she doesn't want to move to FL (she's retired) because she would miss the trees (yes, she told us, "There are no trees in FL") and she couldn't bear to miss the changing seasons. Well then quit bitching about missing your grandkids - if you are choosing changing seasons over your grandkids, that is your choice. Sure hope you enjoy those trees for the two weeks they are pretty in the fall. And I really hope you enjoy all the snow, sleet, ice, and freezing cold that follow the pretty trees.

Can you tell I am bitter? I am just tired of all of the shit she stirs. She is extremely passive-aggressive, and loves to watch the shit fly after she causes drama.

She is constantly making comments about the "bad" choices DH has made in his life, about his weight, his lack of college degree, and so on. BIL, however, is perfect, because he managed to graduate from college in 12 years WHILE LIVING AT HOME. Yes, he lived with his mom until he was 30, when he finally graduated from college. Meanwhile, MIL kicked DH out at age 22 when he dropped to part-time. Her rule was you could live at home if you were in college full-time. As you can guess, BIL wasn't in college full-time for 12 years, but apparently, the rules don't apply to him. That's how it always has been and apparently always will be.

I would never keep the kids from her, but I will no longer go out of my way to make sure she sees pics, gets calls, gets to see them on Skype, send her cards they make her, etc. And I will NOT be here when she comes to visit. She can come visit - I'll just take a trip that weekend.

OK, I am done talking about this. It's making my blood pressure go up. I have more to talk about with the whole 'crossroads' thing, so I'll be back when they go down for their naps (hopefully!)

Smooches if you've read this far - you are a saint!

Fat girl in a little dress

The whole family except for me is in BILs wedding on October 2. DH is the best man, DD is the flower girl, and DS is the ring bearer. We have to fly to OH, stay in a hotel, rent a car - basically, spend lots of money. Money that we don't necessarily have.

In the midst of our move, I came across a dress that I forgot I even had. I'd worn it to do a reading in a friend's wedding in 2002-2003ish. As soon as I saw it, I realized how much I still like it and how much I want to wear it to the wedding in October. Especially since that's money I don't need to spend on a dress.

Bad news is it's an 18W, and I'm wearing 22/24W right now.

Good news is it zips, and I can breathe.

Bad news is I look REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLY hippy in it.

Good news is I have just over two months to make it look good.

Can I do it?

These were taken two weeks ago...minus any supportive undergarments, if you get my drift...The pics don't really do it justice. It's got this drapey neckline and kind of hugs the curves without being tight (when you're not too fat for it, that is). The fabric is black with these gorgeous kind of shiney maroonish roses on it.

(Excuse the hideous hair, please.)


And since I'm posting pics, here are a few of my cuties I took today.

I hope you are sitting down.

Because I just did something I haven't done in a while.

I stepped foot...

...inside...

...a place where people...

...gulp...

...exercise.

There, I said it!

OK, in all seriousness, I am far from the model bandster in that I have not really exercised yet. I have done some stuff here and there, and the last few weeks I've been much more active, thanks to our pool and being home with the kids. However, the truth is I can't honestly say I've "exercised" since being banded.

We went and checked out a gym today. It's NICE! NICE! LOVE IT! It's affiliated with a hospital, is pretty easy to get to, and has tons of equipment and classes. The kids loved the childcare, and now it's just a matter of ponying up the money. While I know it's worth it (I get to workout, get a break from the kids, and the kids get to go play with other kids), it pretty much eats up (funny pun, huh?) our discretionary spending for the month. I just have to set my mind to the fact that this is what I should be spending that money on. It's good for my health, it's good for the kids, and overall, a good deal considering I basically can get two free hours of childcare every day! LOL

In other news, the scale continues to go down. I am a mere .6 lbs away from 90 lbs. WHEEEEE!!!!!

Guess that's it. I am boring now that we are moved and I am a SAHM!

Aiming for obese

Less than 10 lbs to go, and I'll be *just* obese. How exciting is that?!?!?! I started out "super obese" and now am "morbidly obese." Just "obese" sounds pretty good right now!

I finally broke out of my little plateau...yes, it was only a week, but I'm spoiled by almost-daily weight loss at this phase of the game, so for the scale to go up instead of down for a week is frustrating. The good news is that I no longer freak out about plateaus, as I *know* that with the band, it won't take long until the scale moves again.

Oh, and guess what? Minor PB last night. I was h-u-n-g-r-y, so I scarfed down some Pringles and paid the price. Won't be doing that again any time soon.

Trying to decide if I feel like heading out with the kids today or not. If we do head out, I think I might check out a local mall. It's too hot to be outside! No, we have not adjusted to the FL heat yet. Although DD was whining in the pool last night because it was chillier than usual. It wasn't even cold, but it wasn't bath-like either. She's already spoiled!

Guess I best go pay attention to the kids since DD is standing with the fridge door open. Lovely.

Inches and ports and gyms, oh my!

Today is my first official day as a SAHM. So far, we've been to a chaotic and crazy story time; I was hoping to maybe meet another mom or two, but everyone shied far away from the crazy lady who was sweating up a storm and chasing her 14-month all around while he shrieked like a pterodactyl.

DD and I just went for a quick swim while said pterodactyl is sleeping. I think we're going to hit the farmer's market later this afternoon. Ahhh, this is the life!

So, onto my post title...

Inches
I measured again the other night, and I've lost a grand total of 80.5"! Here's a quick rundown:

Neck -2.5"
Bust -6"
Waist -9"
Lower Tummy -9.5"
Hips -9"
Thighs -8" right, -9" left
Knees -5.75" right, -7.75" left
Calves -4.75" right, -2" left
Arms -3.5" right, -4" left

Ports
There's no delicate way to put this, so I'll just say it: Damn, certain positions are not port-friendly. That was a first!

Gyms
Where we now live is great except for the fact that there are no gyms in the immediate area with childcare. I'm going to check out two tomorrow or Friday - one is actually at the hospital where I am hoping to become a lapband patient and the other is a YMCA. They are a bit pricey, but I need to start working out, and with DH's crazy hours and two toddlers, a gym with childcare is about my only option. Not to mention, it'll give me a break from my lovely-but-energetic children during the day! Wish me luck!

Limbo

Well, the kids and I are at my parents' house, and DH is on his way to FL with our stuffed-to-the-brim UHaul truck. It's all becoming very real!

Leaving my house for the last time was extremely emotional. We bought that house intending for it to be our 'forever' house. While forever didn't quite work out, the house was very good to us, and I hope the next family loves it just as much as we did (and still do).

Being here with the kids is kind of a nightmare! No crib for DS; DD is into everything (destroyed about 20 things of wrapping ribbon yesterday); my 93-year old grandpa lives with my parents; they have three 90+ lb dogs; and so on. It's just constant. Only a few more days...

The good news is I weighed myself on my parents' scale, and it said I was down about 3 lbs. I have no idea how it compares to mine, though, so I won't count it as official until I step on my own scale.

The other good news is my fill seems to be about perfect right now. I can eat a decent amount, nothing is off limits, and I am quite content 90% of the time. I'm pretty happy about that!

Hello

Hi, blogger friends.

Crazy busy, which is going to be the case for the next month or so. Add to it two sick kids whom I'm home with today, and life is wonderful. Sigh.

But the good news is we got a house in FL (company is renting for us for a year) - it has a pool (lawn/pool care included!) and a guest suite, and we're only about 9 miles from Disney, so come on down! We're taking possession on 6/20, so the kids and I (and my mom) will be flying down 6/21 or 6/22. We have so much to do between now and then, it kind of makes my head hurt. But it will get done, right?

POOL

Family Room

Guest suite just waiting for some friends!