Saturday, July 10

I got called out.

And I love it!

Jess made the following comment on my "I am downplaying my weight loss to my friends and family" post:

I gotta call you out here a little Ames. You didn't exactly play down the 90 lbs on your blog. And while I am BY NO MEANS saying you should, because you're doing AMAZING and should celebrate every single pound, I think you play it down in real life for other reasons. I'm not speculating why but I do the same sometimes. So think about it and repost. =)

I have been thinking about it, and here's what I've concluded.

I want 90 lbs to be a big deal. I really do. But it just doesn't feel big to me. So, I tried posting it in a way that made it seem like it was a big deal to me, so maybe I would convince myself that it was.

Because yeah, it's much easier to write something that doesn't convey your feelings than it is to say it in the same way. I can rewrite, edit, highlight, bold, and rework a post until it conveys what I want it to. I can't do that when talking to friends and family. So you guys, my blogger friends, got the dishonesty. I'm so sorry about that! I just really wanted it to be exciting, and I hoped maybe some comments from others would get me excited. And they did. So, I appreciate all the comments, because they did work. Although I'm still not overly excited about it. How's that for confusing?

Hell, I forgot to tell my husband that I hit 90 lbs until we were ready to go to bed.

I keep thinking of Joey when she hit 100 lbs lost and didn't even say anything about it for a few days. And how Amy said onederland wasn't as big of a deal as she had anticipated for so long. I know I am paraphrasing here, and I hope I'm not incorrectly putting words in people's mouths, but I totally get it now. I couldn't understand how they weren't jumping for joy, and now I do.

So, Jess, thanks for making me think. I so appreciate it. I still haven't decided if my non-excitement is a good thing or a bad one, but it is what it is. I'll work on it. :)


  1. 90 freakin lbs in 7 months! Oh.My.God. You are killing it Amy!

  2. When I hit 100lbs down...I'll still have another hundred or so to lose. So maybe that's why it would be less of a big deal for me, personally. Even thinking about it makes me tired. I mean, it IS a huge deal...but then...ugh. I'm a little depressed...*sigh*

  3. I think its a big deal and I think you should be so very proud of it! It took work and dedication and lots of emotions.

  4. I'm in a funk recently with my weight loss celebrations...50 pounds was exciting for me, and now I'm nearing 65 pounds (probably hit it tomorrow). I guess I look at the weight I am, the body I have, and realize that there's still so far to go on this journey. I signed up for the long haul, I'm glad I was banded, and I'm definitely happy about the weight loss I've had in the time I've spent...but something just isn't so exciting anymore about the milestones. If you find an inspiration for this, let me know!

  5. Congratulations on the 90 lbs down. I'm so happy for you.

  6. Darl
    I have crowed from the rooftops about 83 pounds loss - and here I stay (unless I change my mind again - which might happen OR the weight loss magically gets going again.)
    I understand what you mean though. I have strived for a certain point only to reach it, shrug my shoulders and go "Ehh." But seriously? 90 pounds is an amazing feat and you should get it out there. I'm proud of you and no doubt so are everyone else!!

  7. I feel exactly.the.same.way. I just hit 105 pounds down and I'm just like "eh" I guess it's alright. I guess when I look at my body and just being in my body, I've gotten used to it and it just sometimes doesn't click in my brain that what I've done is kind of wonderful. My mind is miles behind where my body is. It's weird.

    Anyways, I totally get where you are coming from, but know this. 90 pounds down. That's pretty fucking amazing. :)

  8.'s a thinker. Getting to the half way point was a big deal for me. Then I felt like the harder part was over or something. The mind is a tricky bastard sometimes. I'm very proud of you and your 90 pounds gone!