And I love it!
Jess made the following comment on my "I am downplaying my weight loss to my friends and family" post:
I gotta call you out here a little Ames. You didn't exactly play down the 90 lbs on your blog. And while I am BY NO MEANS saying you should, because you're doing AMAZING and should celebrate every single pound, I think you play it down in real life for other reasons. I'm not speculating why but I do the same sometimes. So think about it and repost. =)
I have been thinking about it, and here's what I've concluded.
I want 90 lbs to be a big deal. I really do. But it just doesn't feel big to me. So, I tried posting it in a way that made it seem like it was a big deal to me, so maybe I would convince myself that it was.
Because yeah, it's much easier to write something that doesn't convey your feelings than it is to say it in the same way. I can rewrite, edit, highlight, bold, and rework a post until it conveys what I want it to. I can't do that when talking to friends and family. So you guys, my blogger friends, got the dishonesty. I'm so sorry about that! I just really wanted it to be exciting, and I hoped maybe some comments from others would get me excited. And they did. So, I appreciate all the comments, because they did work. Although I'm still not overly excited about it. How's that for confusing?
Hell, I forgot to tell my husband that I hit 90 lbs until we were ready to go to bed.
I keep thinking of Joey when she hit 100 lbs lost and didn't even say anything about it for a few days. And how Amy said onederland wasn't as big of a deal as she had anticipated for so long. I know I am paraphrasing here, and I hope I'm not incorrectly putting words in people's mouths, but I totally get it now. I couldn't understand how they weren't jumping for joy, and now I do.
So, Jess, thanks for making me think. I so appreciate it. I still haven't decided if my non-excitement is a good thing or a bad one, but it is what it is. I'll work on it. :)