- How can it be any harder than any of the eleventy billion other diets I've done?
- After paying for and going through surgery, I'm certainly going to do everything I can to be successful, so no bandster hell is going to stop me.
- I will be the poster child for lap-band surgery and lose weight, with or without restriction.
Um, not so much. I'm here to tell you that bandster hell sucks. Let's walk through a few of the (my?) misconceptions about bandster hell.
1. Bandster Hell is no harder than a regular diet. Just do what you've always done to lose weight. Sooo, it seems it's not quite that easy. I had a mental transition when I decided on lap-band surgery. I didn't (and don't) expect it to be easy, but I expect it to be doable. And if diets were doable, I wouldn't have needed a lap-band. It's circular, you see? Therefore, I am just not in the same place mentally as I was before, which is a good thing, but it does mean that I can't just do what I did before. It's just not possible when you've made the mental transition.
2. A few fills will at least get you closer to restriction, meaning bandster hell won't be quite so bad. HAHAHAHA, HOHOHOHO, how I wish. My experience has been that fills bring about all the bad (PB'ing, sticking, hiccups, etc.) before they bring about the good (restriction). Four fills and 10cc later, I am not at restriction. And I have no sense of prolonged satisfaction nor am I getting full on smaller amounts of food. But the hiccups and all the other fun bodily functions, oh baby, I got those! Quite honestly, it blows. Big time.
3. They might tell you it'll take up to 6 months to get to restriction, but for most people, it's not that long. Unfortunately, I totally fell for this one. I *knew* it could take 6-7 fills to get there, but I just *knew* I'd get there sooner. 6-7 fills might not sound like much, but let's do the math. Let's assume you get your first fill 6 weeks after surgery (which is pretty standard), and each fill every 3 weeks thereafter (splitting the difference between early fills happening every two weeks and later fills happening every four). 5 fills x 3 weeks = 15 weeks. Plus 6 from the first fill, and you are at 21 weeks. Or 5 months. Not so far from 6 months at all. Which sucks big time.
4. Coming off the liquid diet, you won't be as hungry and your portions will be smaller. Somehow, I fell for this one, too. I seem to be gullible these days. Yeah, for the first weeks, this was kinda true, but not really. And then as time went on, it was totally not true. I can put away as much as I did pre-surgery. I don't (most of the time), but I certainly can. And still want to.
5. Soon enough, it'll be a distant memory as you are enjoying your new skinny body, and you'll wonder why you stressed over those few short months anyhow. So, this is the one I am still hanging onto as a truth and not a misconception. And I do believe it. I *know* it's true. I *know* I'll be there soon enough. And when I sit down to write my one-year bandiversary post, I'll have lost 120 lbs (my one year goal), and a few weeks here or there won't have made a difference.
So, there you have it. My frank and forward thoughts on bandster hell. I am in it. Right in the middle of it. Off to call the surgeon's office and see when they'll see me again. I am afraid they are going to say 4 weeks. I am going to cry and plead for 2, hoping they'll pity me and at least agree to 3. I'm paying them for fills now; you'd think they'd let me come whenever! Ha, I know it's not just about the money, but seriously.
On other notes, I exercised again yesterday for two days this week, which was my goal. My goal for next week is 3x for a total of 4 miles. The following week is 4x for 6 miles. And the following week is 4x for 8 miles. And by that time, I'll be bored with walking and need to mix it up. And hopefully back in shape enough that I can tackle something else.
Oh, and for the record, I've been really good food-wise since my fill, worked out twice, took the kids for two walks, and have gained .4 lbs in the last two days. Lovely.