Confusion abounds

(Are you guys tired of me yet? I kind of am! But honestly, I wanted to document my struggles with understanding restriction so that others can learn from them as well as you guys helping me figure this out!)

Half of me thinks I'm overfull. Half of me thinks I'm not there yet. How's that for a fine howdy-do this morning? I'm seriously scratching my head like the screen bean above.

I did a test to see how much I could actually eat last night. I measured out 1 cup of food (veggies, a little rice, and chopped up shish kafta). I was able to eat about 1/2 of it, maybe a tad bit more, before I felt like the next bite was going to sit in the back of my throat. Later on, I was able to eat a slice of deli cheese (horseradish cheddar - yum) with a thin slice of roast beef without much problem. I did go slow and chew well, but it did go down. So, this makes me think I'm not too full. Coupled with the constant hunger, I'm pretty sure I'm not too full.

But then there's the quick pain if I take too big of a gulp of liquid. And the fact that I can't eat more than 1/2 cup of food in 30 minutes. And that I've lost 8.2 lbs in the last 6 days. And I'm pretty sure I'm too full.

Either way, I am going to ride it out. If I am too full, I'm not much too full. The quick weight loss should relax the fill a bit within the next few days. And if I'm not too full, then my next fill is scheduled three weeks from tomorrow and should absolutely, without-a-doubt get me there.

And that's my story.

Like I said before, I got on the scale this morning, and it said 338.6! That's awesome. I am 4.2 lbs from 40, which is my goal by next Thursday, so 10 days away...I can do it! It makes dealing with all this confusion totally worth it.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! We had friends in for the weekend who don't know about my surgery. While she's a very good friend, she's the type who'd call me daily for a status update, and I'm not ready for that. Both times I was pregnant, she literally called/texted/emailed pretty much every day for the last trimester wanting any update. I love her dearly, but that's something I can't handle right now. Or ever.

She commented on my limited food intake no fewer than eleventy billion times. Sigh. And since they stayed with us all weekend, I couldn't play it off like I'd had a big meal just previously or anything. I ended up just saying I was trying to eat smaller amounts of regular food to continue my weight loss. I don't think she totally bought it, hence the asking again and again. And again.

She's used to my efforts to lose weight, so it was enough to quiet her until the next meal. But it was frustrating. I have another friend coming to visit this weekend, but she knows. She's also the one who said I could lose weight as long as I didn't get skinnier than her. Sigh. It really sounds like I need new friends, doesn't it? I really don't. They are both wonderful, wonderful people. They both just have their own weight issues, and I know those weigh on their mind when they think of my efforts and successes (pun intended). Indeed, the friend coming this weekend is taking a day off of work to help me start decluttering in preparation for our move. That's a true friend!

Enough of a novel from me - Happy Monday, my dear banded friends!