Do I even have a band?

Seriously. I am so glad I have a fill tomorrow. I have been a very, very bad girl. Naughty, naughty. I had a bad case of last-supper-itis this weekend. Knowing I most likely (hopefully?) will be at restriction after tomorrow's fill, I went a little wild this weekend. I deserve only coal from Santa next year based on what entered my pie-hole all weekend. What the hell is wrong with me? Restriction or not, I don't need to eat like this. It's like teenaged rebellion gone wrong - "Fine, no restriction. I'll show you, you stupid band. I am going to eat this and that and this and more of that until you give me that restriction."

By the way, they've called me three times to remind me of tomorrow's appointment. Maybe it's a sign that tomorrow is the day. Restriction is on the horizon, right?

I did have a glimmer of hope this morning when I realized it was lunch time and had been satisfied all morning on my greek yogurt with granola. I never even touched my banana. But after lunch, it was like the flood gates opened. I'm trying to stave it off with water and coffee, but I am hungry. Very hungry.

On other notes, does anyone else have FBS? That's First Bite Syndrome for you luckies that don't have it. It's where the esophagus basically spasms with your first bite or two of food. I realized I had it when I thought about my two PB incidents (first or second bite) and how often I feel stuck at first, but if I wait it out, I can eat the rest of my meal without problem. A little research over at LBT brought me to the conclusion that I do indeed suffer from FBS. If you do suffer, here's what helps:

1. Start your meal with a hot liquid.
2. Wait 30 seconds between bites, even if it doesn't feel sticky.
3. Take small bites.
4. Take a primer bite or two about 20 min before your meal to get your esophagus to behave during the meal.

And here's my very un-scientific explanation for FBS, sticking, and PB'ing. So imagine your band. It's wrapped around the top of your stomach, which is essentially the bottom of your esophagus. Now think about when you swallow; food doesn't just plummet freely into your stomach. It's forced down by the esophagus through rhythmic tensing of the muscle. So the top of your esophagus tenses and then relaxes as the next part tenses and so on, which pushes the food through. The AMY Theory on FBS/sticking/PB is that the band interferes with the final point of tensing, and your esophagus/stomach kind of freaks out. It doesn't like being messed with, so it doesn't finish pushing the food all the way into the stomach, and it just kind of sits there at the bottom of your esophagus, causing pain. Lots and lots of pain. Really bad pain. And instead of being smart and just pushing it the rest of the way through, it tells your mouth to make lots of mucus and saliva. And tells your heart to start beating like crazy. And your kids to start screaming at that very moment. Ok, that last one isn't my esophagus talking, but damn, why do they always decide to cry when I am stuck? I like to PB in peace, thankyouverymuch.

My theory really does make sense, doesn't it? It would explain why waiting is so crucial. If you eat a second bite before your esophagus has given your food up to your stomach, it's just going to sit on top of the first bite, causing even more issues.

And there you have it! Did you all enjoy your science lesson? I seriously should teach! I could come up with a theory on just about anything. Global warming? It's all these cell phones giving off heat! Or too many teenaged girls straightening their hair with those freakishly hot straightening irons! Yes! Or my over use of exclamation points!

Off to read some blogs, my friends...just wanted to say you all rock. Mucho much.