Friday, January 8

Send out the search party...

...for my restriction!

I was really hopeful that 6cc would provide something, but I feel not one bit different than I did pre-fill. Not a bit. Bummer, dude.

Now I'm really glad I made that appointment that's in two weeks. I'm seriously starting to white knuckle it. I have NO desire to diet. None. I'm hanging in there, but my will power is slipping away. I am mostly trying to avoid sugar, keep the white carbs on the low end, and focus on getting enough protein. I have to mentally accept that maintaining right now will be a victory.

So I guess it means you should also look for my will power while you are out there.

Enough whining. I know it'll all happen soon enough. I just want it NOW. I'm like that with everything in my life. I have very little patience and am definitely of the instant gratification generation. Hell, I decided I wanted to get banded and had the band within 6 weeks. Yep, instant gratification - that's me.

I wanted to thank you all for the comments on my support group experience. They made me laugh, smile, want to rise up and revolt, drink more coffee, and even get a bit teary-eyed. I will try my surgeon's group, and if that doesn't work, I guess you guys are it. Can you handle the pressure? Oh, maybe someone wants to be my band sponsor? Who's willing to give me their phone number so I can whine to you 24/7? Hello, anyone? Fine. I'll just keep whining here.

In totally unrelated news, DH's dad and his wife came over last night. DH hasn't seen his dad in 17 years. No, that is not a typo. 17 years. It was interesting and went well - we'll be seeing lots of them while they're in town for the next week. Long back story which I'll share someday, I just don't feel like it today, but the short story is DH's parents divorced, FIL acted a fool, DH and his brother cut him out of their lives. Fast-forward 17 years and FIL finds DH via Facebook. It's like a modern fairy tale. They brought the kids TONS of Christmas presents (and a few for us) and since they live near Orlando, everything was Disney. The ironic part is DH and I are so not Disney people. I like the parks, but am not a fan of character clothing or the movies or anything. And now the kids have outfits, sippies, stuffed animals, hats, bags, you name it. DD slept with her Little Mermaid pink chalis-style straw cup last night. I guess we are going to lose this battle.


  1. Glad I found your blog, I can so relate to the fill front. I am not feeling mine either! Keep up the good work!

    Anna <-

  2. You're great. I feel you about white knuckling, instant gratification, and themed anything...
    Good luck w/ the FIL situation.


  3. Oh no! I am sorry about the white knuckling and totally get it-- I am not feeling hunger right now and I am grateful. But suffice it to say that it is quite physiological, in my opinion, so there is only so much you can do.
    Each protein first, try to keep it lean protein at that.
    DON'T drink with your meals even if it kills you-- you CAN follow that rule and it will help a little, I hope.
    Be sure you are getting SOME good fats in-- maybe a whole egg or two? This will help with satisfaction.
    How about benefiber in your drinks? This might expand in your gut and give you a fuller feeling as well.

    Hang in there Amester!! You will make it... just try to maintain and DON'T hyper-workout right now, it will make you hungrier (we are birds of a feather and I can just guess what you're thinking.. am I right about the exercise?)


  4. We'll get there girl! I feel myself slipping further and further away from the "rules". It took all week of focus and determination to starve off the 2 pounds I gained on my free-for-all Monday.

    I am also going to be pleased if I can just hang on to my current weight loss until I get some restriction. The doctor said it is entirely possible to gain weight before that point and I am just refusing to let that happen. I worked hard for these 20 pounds and won't be budging an ounce in the wrong direction if I can help it.

    I have started carrying around things to remind me of my goals to try and help me stay on track. A 10 year old pic of me when I was 21 and 150 pounds, pics of the children in my family (biggest motivation for me is finally being able to have children), and a pic of my new stomach with the band.

    It was all I could do to get from the gym to my house yesterday without stopping for some Chicken McNuggets. When I got close to the McD's I whipped out my motivation, sat it next to me in the car, and just pushed through it.

    Try to take it one day at a time. Focus on getting through today. No one could ask more of you - not even yourself!

  5. Amy,
    I'm a little farther out than you, but really struggled with restriction. One thing I learned was not to compare yourself when it comes to fill levels or you'll go crazy. I couldn't understand how I could have 6,7,8 cc's and not feel like others who were really restricted at 5cc's.
    It's hard to get through this time, but remember if you get in a rhythm now it will be so much easier when the restriction does come.
    Good luck - also I read your support group post at work and couldn't comment. It's amazing that people fighting the same battle could be so judgmental. Also it must feel great to have lost about the same amount as the bypassers.

  6. Ack! I'm right there beside you on your shoulder. My fill is so-so too and I'm also battling willpower and feeling this is a little hard right now. We will prevail - or we will when we get some fill! Thinking of you.

  7. Amy...I absolutely empathize. I like you have a little challenge when it comes to being patient. I kind of thought that after the first fill, I'd be driving a ferrari...instead, I find myself on the back of a sleeply burrow that's looking for the closest What can we do? We must do our best with what we've's only for a little while. Hang in there..