Monday, May 24


It really is all about perspective, isn't it?

DH and I went out for an early anniversary dinner last night (four years on Thursday, but he'll be out of town). We headed to Red Lobster - I know, it's nothing too gourmet, but I knew there'd be plenty of choices for me.

So, back to perspective. My perspective on an indulgent, splurge meal:

Pre-banding: 2-3 cheddar bay biscuits, shared app with DH, salad drowning in dressing, probably a combo platter with lots of fried food, and if I could still shovel in a few more bites, maybe a shared dessert. Oh, and 4-5 cokes to wash it down. Diet if I was feeling virtuous.
Total calories: 2500-3000ish or more

Post-banding: 1/2 glass of water with lemon, crusty top off 1 cheddar bay biscuit, 1/3 of an order of lobster nachos (really yummy btw), and picked up a pint of Ben & Jerry's at Target for later, but opted to have a cup of hot cocoa instead because I just wasn't in the mood for ice cream (huh????).
Total calories: 600-700ish (total guess here)

DH plowed through a few biscuits, his salad, and a PLATTER of food. Granted, he needs to lose about 30 lbs, but it is just amazing to me how much food he can eat. And I used to eat just as much, if not more. Now I can't even imagine. At all.

Other perspectives are changing as well. I've lost 70 lbs, and while I'm proud of that, it's not the feeling I thought I'd have at this point. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm doing well, but it's really not about the total lost or the size I wear or whatever. It's about the journey, about living, about feeling good in my body.

My perspective has totally changed.

I'm 4 lbs from Twonesia, and while I am seriously looking forward to the day the scale says 299.8 lbs, I am not living for that day. I am just living. And enjoying it. And the scale will say that magical number soon enough, but it's not the be all, end all I anticipated it would be.

Does this make any sense?

My perspective has flip-flopped on weight loss:

Pre-banding: I lived, breathed, dreamt, discussed, analyzed, beat-like-a-dead-horse everything and anything to do with weight loss. How much exercise, what kind of exercise, what to eat, what not to eat, new food finds, points, calories, fat, fiber, splenda vs. sugar, fruits, veggies, no carb, low carb, protein. I fought tooth and nail for every ounce that came off and fought even harder to keep them off. It was a horrible struggle, one that left me unable to live life. I had to focus solely on my weight loss efforts, or the weight did not come (or stay) off. I was living a completely one-dimensional life, one that revolved around weight loss.

Post-banding: I am living. Weight loss is happening, and while I am putting in effort, it's not the Herculean efforts of before. I do think about what I am going to eat, but it's more from a perspective of what will go down and keep me satisfied. Food is still pleasurable, but it has a new goal for me - to keep me going until the next meal. And I get to eat yummy food - cheese, chocolate, lattes, butter - because I am limited in the amount I can eat. Exercise has become a part of my life. It's not something I do 2 hours every day. It's something that I incorporate into living - walks with the kids, a quick video here or there, parking further away in parking lots, taking the stairs at work. I do intend to focus more on exercise in the future, but for now, I don't have to kill myself at the gym and I can still lose weight. This is new for me. I am living a three-dimensional life, not living just for weight-loss, and enjoying every minute of it.

So, my last word on perspective is a bit judgmental. I hope that I can explain myself in a way that makes it a bit less judgmental sounding and a bit more "I've seen the light and want others to see it, too."

I periodically read the Weight Watchers message boards. I have for years and years - both for weight loss tips and because there are some funny people over there. I stumbled across the 200+ lbs to Lose board the other day, and wow, talk about perspective.

I obviously need to lose 200 lbs, so I can totally relate to most of them Some have already lost 200+ lbs, and their stories are amazing. But the large majority are early in their journeys, and more often than not, they are struggling. Two months, two weeks, two days into their journeys, many are posting "I just can't do this anymore" messages. They discuss WLS and why they can't/won't do it. They discuss how it's "the easy way out" and how WW is *the* way, but yet they are struggling so terribly.

There are honestly very few people there who've lost a significant amount of weight. It's mostly newbies who pop in for a few posts and then quit posting, which probably also means they've quit WW.

I used to buy into that perspective - WLS is cheating, and WW is the only *honorable* way to lose weight.

But now I want to shout at them, "THERE IS ANOTHER WAY." And it is the easier way. Not easy, but easier. And doable. And manageable. And makes life livable. And enjoyable. It makes food your friend and not your enemy.

My perspective has totally changed.


  1. Wow...what a difference a few months makes, huh??? Congratulations! Also, congrats on skipping the B&J's and going for the cocoa!!!

  2. Such a great post Amy! You are doing so well and I love your thoughts about how your perpsective is changing. I never understood how people think that having surgery is the easy way out. I did find immediately after having surgery and still till this day, I look at overweight women and wish I could share the gift of this process with them. You feel like you're keeping something that is so great such a secret. All I can hope is that they ultimately figure it out on their own, because this is without a doubt the greatest gift I have given myself. (p.s. I say this even after getting stuck on iced coffee this morning!!)

  3. What a great post! I felt the same way about weight loss surgery, but my perspective is also changing. I know I need help. I am not proud of it.. but I do. I can't do the seesawing, diet pills, MISERY anymore. I don't care if it takes me six more months to get approved, I will and then we can be on this journey together! :)

  4. Awesome post, Amy. I can identify with everything you wrote - it's really true for me too. It's nice to feel that change in perspective, no?

  5. Amy, You are doing so well! Great job! I used to feel the same way about WLS that those strugglers on the message boards did, but now I am so happy I did it. I didn't realize until after the surgery how perfect a choice it was for me. AWESOME post! Happy anniversary!

  6. Great post! I completely identify with your "pre-band" perspective right now, being preband myself. And I hadn't realized until now that one of my postband goals is to have the perspective you do now. You put it into words for me. Plus even tho I'm not banded yet I now get that WLS is not the easy way out, just EASIER. Thank you!

  7. I used to out eat my 6'1" 245 pound husband when we went to restaurants. Now my 3 year old, 17 month old and I all eat about the same portions. (It takes me forever just to get all the food plated for everyone! My pizza cutter's got a lotta miles on in.)

    I'm emailing this post to a friend who's just starting her journey. Thanks for sharing.

  8. My little Amy bug - me thinks your little waist is shrinking but your mind and "perspective" are growing...which is so cool in my opinion. You've come so far in so little time - and I don't mean in weight loss.

  9. I totally agree with everything you said. I'm trying to make good choices now that I have the band but I'm not killing myself anymore. Its about not dieting. For me anyway. I want to make it a lifestyle and I think the only way I can do that is to relax about it.

  10. Amy.....You deserve a 2nd Masters and a PhD! Your post here and your comment on my blog makes that very clear. So, considering that I am an administrator at a top tier university, I, with all the power that I have, bestow upon you those degrees! (Just don't tell my boss!)
    Dr. Amy. Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

  11. What a wonderful post - I don't get banded until July but your perspective has made me so hopefully. I am am so excited for the positive path your journey has taken you on.

  12. Excellent post and so so true. Irelate to so much of it. Tonight we went to GPK a pizza place and I struggled to eat the topping off a few slices to appear normal...before I could eat a whole pizza easily....what a change. I love it