Wednesday, November 4

Reactions to dropped bombs

I have intentionally chosen to tell very few people in my life about my surgery. This is my personal journey, one that is painfully embarrassing in many ways. I fully admit I may be ready to tell more people as I lose weight and feel more confident in my choice and/or when the reality of taking the easy way out isn't so fresh. But for the time being, this is something I just don't want to discuss with the entire world. Or even my little circle of friends and family.

Having told two of the chosen few recently has reinforced my decision. While neither reaction was overly negative, neither was either reaction overly positive. I realize that I wanted, craved, expected excitement. And support. I got neither. I got surprise and trepidation. Which, to be fair, is probably how I'd react if a friend dropped a bomb like I just did. However, I also like to think that I'd step outside of myself to realize that the bomb they were dropping wasn't easy for them to drop and at least pretend to be supportive and excited.

I am learning, quickly, to accept that how people react is not about me but about them. Maybe it's about how they want to also take the easy way out, how they feel about themselves, how they wish they had the courage to do what I am doing, how they wish they had the opportunity to changes their lives like I am. It's not about ME. It's not. It's about them.

And since this journey is about ME, I am not going to worry about them.

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