Friday, November 13

Random ramblings

Starting day three of my 14-day pre-op diet. I struggled a bit yesterday - I was damn hungry late afternoon/early evening. It didn't help that DH fell off the I'll-do-it-with-you-wagon, and when I stopped to get a diet cherry limeade from Sonic, he opted to get a whole meal. And ate it in the car with me. Honestly, I wasn't upset - I HAVE to do this to have my surgery, so it is what it is. But I won't lie - that burger and those fries smelled heavenly, and I think I could actually taste them. This is after TWO days. I really am addicted!

Good news on the melanoma front. I saw a specialist yesterday and she said the type I have (melanoma in situ) is 100% curable as long as they remove all the surrounding tissue. I'm having the remaining tissue removed Monday morning at 7 am. I'll have about a 2" scar. And then we made two other appointments for 1 hour each to remove 6 other moles. That won't happen until January. Is it sad that all I could think about is I could be 30-40 lbs lighter when she sees me in January? HA!

DH did a bunch of research on protein drinks yesterday, and he found one that had good reviews on every site he went to. We found it at GNC. It's called BSN Lean Dessert Protein, and it actually is good. We got the Chocolate Fudge Pudding, and we're ordering a Whipped Vanilla Cream and a Cinnamon Bun as well. I don't intend to use protein drinks beyond the two weeks pre-op and two weeks post-op that I *have* to, but a little variety will be nice.

I'm starting to feel a bit ? panicky? smacked by reality? second-guessing? I'm not sure what it is, but I'm starting to realize my surgery is in 12 days. 12! And my life will (hopefully) never be the same. While this is a good thing, I do need to learn to rewire my brain around how I think about food. Food is such a big part of everything we do as humans. Celebrations, work meetings, family outings, and so on. It's always going to be there, so I have to learn how to deal with that. I actually scheduled an appointment with a counselor who specializes in dealing with bariatric patients for the Monday before my surgery. I hope I like her and can continue to meet with her regularly. Maybe she can be my brain lap-band, because I'm pretty sure my brain needs one!

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