The truth is I can't handle the truth. Or maybe it's that I can't tell myself the truth. Or haven't been telling myself the truth. The truth is...I need to get serious about this.
Tomorrow is my three-month bandiversary.
The Good: I'm down more than 35 lbs in three months.
The Bad: I've been down as much as 39.8 lbs since being banded.
The Ugly: I was down 39.8 lbs on December 23, less than one month after I was banded.
That means I've just been fuckin' around these past two months. Up and down. On and off. Good and bad.
I'm not going to be back at 39.8 lbs by tomorrow, which is a goal I'd set for myself. And it's my own fault. Eating things I shouldn't, eating more than I should, moving less than I should. The list goes on and on.
I owe it to myself, my husband, my kids, and my parents (who generously paid $11,000 for my surgery) to buck up and get honest about this journey.
I know getting to restriction will help with a lot of this, so I am not beating myself up too much about the eating part. But I could be doing a whole LOT more to help myself. And really, I don't need restriction to work out. What...am I expecting restriction to suddenly make me want to jump on the elliptical in the mornings? I don't think that's going to happen. Although if it did, that would be cool.
I also don't need restriction to stay out of the craptastic snacks in our house. Or to stop getting a caramel macchiato for breakfast and kidding myself by pretending it's a good choice because of the protein in the milk. Seriously. I am fuckin' around, and it stops here and now.
It's time to put on my big girl panties (which could be smaller big girl panties if I would just buck up), and do what needs to be done.
Exercise 4x/week.
Eat 3 real meals and 2-3 small, healthy snacks.
Focus on getting my water in.
To make myself accountable, I WILL post my progress towards these goals every day. With full honesty. Because I CAN handle the truth.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I feel like for three months I just was screwing around and not being serious about weight loss.
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! You can do it! I think there is an adjustment period with this new lifestyle. I went through it too. It sounds like you've had your breakthrough! Congrats on that. You are ahead of the game there. (I'm a slow learner so it took me longer than 3 months.)
ReplyDeleteSee Lindas Lap Band 101 Post. It was really right on the money.
Good for you for moving forward. Winter is almost over so the sun will come out and it will get warmer. I think that is what makes me want to move forward. Good luck, you can do it and just remember you are over 35 pounds less than you were three months ago. I think that is pretty cool!
ReplyDeleterestriction will definitely make a big difference for you. you are almost there....keep moving forward. also, be honest with your doctor tomorrow and press for more!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Amy.. I have written similar posts.. Restriction does make all the difference.. it motivates you to do all of the things you have set out to do.. don't beat yourself up.. You got the band to help you get this weight off.. embrace it, make it work for you.. but the restriction sure helps... alot.
ReplyDelete...sometimes I have the same serious talk with myself... kick your self in the rear and get going girl! You can/will do this right!! :)
ReplyDeleteI could have written this same post. I have similar issues and I can only blame myself for my lack of progress. thanks for giving yourself a kick in the pants and thus, making me focus on it as well!!!
ReplyDeleteYou'll do it!!! :)
Good for you for making a plan and holding yourself accountable. We are all here to cheer you on, you can do this!
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up....at least you have identified what you can do better. Good for you
ReplyDeleteGood for you!! You can do this-- but please don't blame yourself for any halt in progress... it is all part of the process.
ReplyDeleteMoving ahead... xoxox DL