Sorry for the post and run last night. Life kinda exploded around us...more about that in a second.
But first, weigh-in day, and I am down 2.0 lbs this week!!! Bringing me into the 260s and 105 lbs lost. This band stuff rocks!
So, the life exploding thing. I don't know if I can make this long story short, but I will try. Ok, I'm not even going to try, it's not going to be short.
As I've mentioned, DH, DD, and DS are in BIL's wedding in October. I like BIL and SIL quite a bit (or did), and DH & BIL are very close.
I don't much care for my MIL, but I try to be nice, and a good DIL, since DH isn't good about sharing updates about the kids and so on. I called her last night to say hi, and we ended up chatting about the wedding. I mentioned in passing that I needed to call SIL about my mom coming to the ceremony (just to help me get the kids down the aisle as they are 1 and 2 years old...she was getting a hotel room so she could watch them after dinner, so DH & I could enjoy the reception). Didn't think about it again until...
Within an hour, DH's phone was blowing up with text messages from BIL. About how rude I am to assume my mom can just come to the wedding and reception. How dare I. How it's not my wedding and I don't get a say. And on and on and on.
So, I am pisssssssssssssssssed:
1. I said I would call SIL. MIL had NO right to run and gossip like a 12-year old girl.
2. I never said my mom was staying at the ceremony or even coming to the reception. The plan was for her to stand in the back while I stood at the front, so the kids would walk towards me. That was it. She wasn't even going to sit down. Then she'd go hang out in her room until we brought the kids up later (the wedding+reception are in the hotel we are staying at). I would never presume to invite someone to a wedding.
3. How dare BIL assume I'm so rude as to invite my mom. I would never do that. I was going to discuss with SIL if that was how she wanted to handle the kids. If not, fine. It was just an idea I was going to run past her.
4. My mom was going to go to considerable expense and trouble to be there to help us, which in turn helps BIL+SIL. But if it's not wanted, we won't do it.
5. Weddings are public affairs. Etiquette says anyone can come to a wedding (obviously not if it is on private property). But again, I wasn't saying my mom was coming to the wedding, just for the first two minutes. And I wasn't even saying she was coming. I was going to OFFER IT AS A SOLUTION to SIL.
I am beyond livid with MIL and BIL. MIL pulled this shit earlier with the wedding stuff, too, telling SIL I was offended I wasn't invited to the shower. I wasn't offended - MIL mentioned that the shower was last weekend when I was talking to her a few weeks ago, and it caught me off guard, as I never received an invite, so I said, "Oh, I guess I wasn't invited." She obviously ran to SIL and said something to her, because I got this long, hairy email from SIL with all these excuses as to why I wasn't invited. Whatever. I do find it odd that as the only SIL, I wasn't invited. But I wasn't offended, just figured she had her reason. I don't get offended by that stuff. To be honest, I think the whole big wedding thing is silly. I've been married twice and neither was a big, traditional affair. Just not my thing, so I certainly don't get offended over it.
Anyhow, I am so mad that I am serious when I say I am perfectly happy to stay here with the kids while DH goes to Ohio for the wedding. It's going to be hugely expensive for us, and if they don't really want us there, I am more than happy to not go.
As for MIL, I am done. Done. Done. Done. This is just the latest in a long list of ways she interferes with our lives and likes to cause drama. I think I've mentioned previously, but when DH was traveling for work (Mon-Thur for 15 weeks, and then gone for almost two months straight), MIL offered to help me exactly twice. And she lived 1.5 miles away. I didn't expect anything from her, but then she boo-hoo'ed to BIL about how we were moving her grandkids away from her and she'd never see them blah blah blah. Well, if you wanted to see them so bad, you could have come over any time for the 5 months I was home alone with the kidds. Oh, and when that happened (the boo-hooing), BIL called DH and bitched him out for taking the grandkids away and breaking MIL's heart. Well, let's see, DH had been unemployed for six months and finally got a job. It just happened to be in FL. So, she thought we should be homeless and hungry rather than move where the work is, because it inconvenienced her. It's just never ending with her.
Oh, have I mentioned that she doesn't want to move to FL (she's retired) because she would miss the trees (yes, she told us, "There are no trees in FL") and she couldn't bear to miss the changing seasons. Well then quit bitching about missing your grandkids - if you are choosing changing seasons over your grandkids, that is your choice. Sure hope you enjoy those trees for the two weeks they are pretty in the fall. And I really hope you enjoy all the snow, sleet, ice, and freezing cold that follow the pretty trees.
Can you tell I am bitter? I am just tired of all of the shit she stirs. She is extremely passive-aggressive, and loves to watch the shit fly after she causes drama.
She is constantly making comments about the "bad" choices DH has made in his life, about his weight, his lack of college degree, and so on. BIL, however, is perfect, because he managed to graduate from college in 12 years WHILE LIVING AT HOME. Yes, he lived with his mom until he was 30, when he finally graduated from college. Meanwhile, MIL kicked DH out at age 22 when he dropped to part-time. Her rule was you could live at home if you were in college full-time. As you can guess, BIL wasn't in college full-time for 12 years, but apparently, the rules don't apply to him. That's how it always has been and apparently always will be.
I would never keep the kids from her, but I will no longer go out of my way to make sure she sees pics, gets calls, gets to see them on Skype, send her cards they make her, etc. And I will NOT be here when she comes to visit. She can come visit - I'll just take a trip that weekend.
OK, I am done talking about this. It's making my blood pressure go up. I have more to talk about with the whole 'crossroads' thing, so I'll be back when they go down for their naps (hopefully!)
Smooches if you've read this far - you are a saint!