Is it Monday already?

We got our tree up!

Oh, how the weekend flew by. Partly because I had about three more things I wanted to accomplish last night, and neither kid would go to sleep and stay asleep. I ended up sleeping with the two-year old in my bed, and boy, I do not sleep when she is in there, so yawn...

I snuck a peek on the scale this morning, and let's just say I should not have done that. I'm up about 5 lbs, which I *knew* to expect, but I was certainly hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones to avoid it. I haven't been consuming more than 1200 calories daily this week, so I logically know it's not 'real' weight, but it's still annoying. Oh well, I am in this journey for the long run and 5 lbs is not going to make a bit of difference when I'm at goal in two years, right? Ok, letting it go, letting it go...

I am proud to say I am on day 27 of 28 of my liquid diet (includes two weeks of pre-op.) I just have to make it through the rest of today and tomorrow, and then I get to start mushies! Looking back, this has already been an incredible journey, and I can't wait to see how the rest of it goes. In some ways, this is more exciting than the weight I've dropped, as this is the part *I* can control. I stuck with it, gave it 100%, used every bit of my willpower some days, have already started the rethinking process regarding food, and am ready to start the next phase.

And how's this for one of those "rethinking" things about food? I just realized today that I can actually eat Christmas dinner. I'm so used to not eating, I really hadn't even thought about the fact that I do get to eat with the family that day. This has to be significant in some way.

Which leads me to my next thought. I was talking to my mom earlier, and she asked if I had thought at all about the foods I'd foregone these last four weeks. Unfortunately, I have. I can name several things that I had to pass on. And then I went on to tell her that I still think about a piece of peanut butter pie that I passed over at my sorority's national convention over 10 years ago. I couldn't begin to tell you my roommate's name that I roomed and spent 24/7 with for FIVE days, but I can still describe exactly what that pie looked like. Of course, I was dieting at the time and starving. Honestly, I can do this with about 15 times in my life - tell you what I did (or did not) eat, but not tell you other details of the event. I think this is definitely something to bring up in my next therapy appointment. Disordered thinking of the first degree.

The good news is I'm not at all sad about this, but curious and excited to see how I can work through it. Does the mental work make your butt get smaller, too?