Monday, September 20

It's time.

I think it's time to admit it's time for an unfill.

I really, really don't want to.

But my last fill was .25 cc on May 5, bringing me to 11.25 cc in a 14 cc band. Since then, over 4.5 months, I've lost 60 lbs, and my band is still mostly uber-tight. In fact, it seems to be getting tighter. I keep thinking if I lose enough weight, it'll loosen up. But if 60 lbs didn't do it, I don't think anything will!

I did liquids for more than a week after that fill. I've been on liquids for a week at a time several times since then. I can't eat anything before 12-1 pm. Some days I can barely even drink in the mornings. And now I'm getting tight again in the evening. I just PB'ed on water. I PB'ed on iced tea last week. I could barely get down some homemade cheddar broccoli soup tonight.

I will call tomorrow. I don't even have a surgeon down here yet (my own procrastinating fault), but I have a few options, including the guy Jacquie and Stephanie see. I'm hoping whoever takes me on will do just a little .25 cc unfill or so. And quickly. I am getting tired of living like this.

I hit the wall tonight - I realized I am often tired, because my diet is so lacking. If I really want to run, and I really do want to run, I have to be able to eat more than I can right now.

I know it's not the end of the world. I just am so scared of getting into that fill-unfill cycle, and being self-pay, that's an expensive cycle to get into! But I can't live like this anymore. So, I am admitting it to you guys, and putting it in writing, so I don't back out tomorrow!

12 comments:

  1. Good luck! It's such a hard decision because it's a gamble with an unfill. Hopefully they'll just take a smidge out to give you relief.

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  2. Oh sweetie.. you have to be able to live your life too.. so I think you know inside what you need to do.. and you are right, it might just be a matter of tweaking that can make all the difference in the world.. fingers crossed you can get relief soon..

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  3. I just hope it isn't too late.. being too tight can have consequences. This sounds like an awful way to live, I am glad you are getting an unfill..

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  4. Yep, sounds like it's time. Good for you for knowing that and for taking action.

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  5. I hope everything works out. How about sending some of that restriction over my way :)

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  6. I hope you feel better soon, I am sorta tight myself... TOM and all. *Maria*-blogger from "This one time at BAND Camp..."

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  7. I think you're opting for the right thing-- when you need an unfill, you know it and you need to go. I've been toying with this for a while, but plan to wait it out until I see the doc in October.
    But hellz yeah: get a small unfill and it will probably make all the difference... xo DL

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  8. I am working with the same surgeon, and he is so nice. I haven't had my procedure yet, but am looking forward to working with him more. I have only heard good things about him, from people at my church, past patients, and even some random people I have run into who know him. I hope you find comfort and it all works out for you!

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  9. Wow, 11.5 cc in a 14...I have a 14 cc band and haven't gotten my first fill yet. The 14cc band seems so uncommon.

    I hope you get some relief! There is no need to be unable to get the nutrition that you need!

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  10. Oh my gosh! I can't imagine not even being able to drink water/tea. I get irritated sometimes if I can't even have bread or whatever else awful bad food I am trying to pork away on. But to be that tight must be pure torture. I can't believe you have had to deal with it for so long. Good luck on your unfill. And I agree, the tiniest tweak could make the world of difference.

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  11. i'm sure this is the right decision.
    Here's hoping they'll see you quickly and that it goes smoothly.

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  12. Oh Amylicious! Poor puddin! Feel better soon!! xo

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