Wednesday, August 25

I birthed a band!

My band has gestated to maturity! 9 months after first implanting this little sucker...

...gone are:
  • 107 lbs
  • 99.25"
  • The fear of not ever being able to lose weight once and for all
  • My self-consciousness over my size; I'm still fat, but I feel normal-fat instead of stand-out-fat now
  • Swollen ankles and sore feet
...and here to stay are:
  • Self-confidence
  • Faith in myself
  • A better attitude towards everything in my life
  • More happiness
The band certainly hasn't solved all my problems, but it has made it easier to deal with them. I guess when you don't have to waste your energy dealing with the monkey of 200+ extra lbs on your back, it allows you to use that extra energy in more productive ways. And while the band hasn't solved all our financial worries, I have no doubt that when I go to job interviews, I'll be viewed in a more positive light and also carry myself with more confidence. So in that respect, I do believe the band will positively affect our financial future.

Having the courage to make the decision to get the band is one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. Not the losing with the band, not the work I've put in, but the courage to admit I had a problem that was bigger than I could tackle on my own. That's the hardest step, at least it was for me.

Have I been a perfect bandster? No. Will I be a perfect bandster in the future? Nope. However, I do 90% of it right, and 90% is usually a passing grade anywhere you go. I don't drink with meals or for 30 min afterwards, I don't drink soda, I focus on protein (when my stupid band isn't being fickle and tightening out of nowhere), I workout, and I eat 3 meals plus 1 (occasionally 2) small snack per day. What don't I do "right"? I drink calories (lattes, coffee creamer, gatorade, watered-down juice), I eat chocolate and cheese and all my other high-cal favs, and I don't count calories.

I've been thinking a lot about my cross roads post, where I talked about buckling down to lose faster or continuing my 90% approach and losing a little more slowly. I finally realized (with the help of my mom) that when I buckle down and go balls-to-the-wall with anything, especially dieting, I burn myself out and have a swing-back that typically counteracts any progress I've made. I've done it 100s of times. In fact, I think it was this approach that helped me to 'diet' my way to nearly 400 lbs. So, with that in mind, I'm going to keep on this path I'm on, of being happy with 2 lbs/week and no obsessing, and see where it takes me. I reserve the right to change my mind in the future, but I'm enjoying this journey, and if I take the enjoyment out, I see trouble brewing. And why cause trouble when there is none?

If my 90% effort gets me 90% results, you know, I might just be okay with that. 180 lbs gone certainly wouldn't upset me!

And with that, I will talk to you all later, maybe even post some progress pics if I actually take a shower today. LOL. If I'm a bit absent these next few days, it's because my mom is in town for a quick visit. Smooches!


  1. I love this - all of it! Congratulations!!!!

  2. You've done amazingly well and you attitude is fantastic. Congratulations!!

  3. 90 % seems good to me! You have done such an awesome job! You look fantastic, and I can tell you feel fantastic also! I'm proud of you! You are an inspiration to me! :)

  4. Some really great things in this post. I so hear you about the "normal fat" thing...I feel very much there myself...and I have to say, I'm liking it. Congratulations on what you've accomplished in 9 months!

  5. What an amazing result!! Good for you! I sent you a package today. I'll email you details!

  6. I love the blogging world b/c just when I'm feeling down, i get to read all of these wonderful upbeat posts that remind me what I'm all about and how well I have the potential to do myself.
    Thank you so much, sorry to be so egocentric, but this blog was awesome and just what the doctor ordered for me today.

  7. I love the "normal fat" part of this post. It is exactly how I have been feeling. I've gone from being the enormous girl to the chubby one that's actually cute :)

    And I think you've made the perfect choice. I posted a balls to the wall post too and I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I should just be happy with how things are going rather than trying to this as fast as physically possible.

    If all goes well with my schedule your capris will be going into the mail tomorrow! I hope they fit!!

  8. This post made me tear up. I don't know why. The title of my blog is "Banded and Proud of It!" because while I know that some people look at the band as cheating, I look at it as a courageous choice. Don't get me wrong - people that lose weight without the band aren't any less courageous. I just think that when you keep trying and trying and trying to lose weight without success or you keep gaining the weight back, there comes a point where you need to make a decision. I think the quote is the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Making the decision to go through voluntarily surgery was not easy, but I am proud of it. And I am so happy that I found your blog and the other successful bandsters to help make my decision easier and to get support along my journey. I also agree with your 90% philosophy. Perfection is not all it's cracked up to be. Keep up the A work.

  9. I think a lot about the changes that I am making and really determining if they are changes that I can make forever, you know? Like can I count calories, measure my food, restrict myself, workout for 2 hours a day etc...for the rest of my life? I know I would fail. I think for me right now too, the goal is make a change, sustain the change and as long as the scale is moving in the right direction, it doesn't really matter how fast. Congrats on all your hard work!

  10. it'''s a BAND! Congratulations! I'm super proud of you!

  11. 107lbs, over 99 inches - amazing!
    Keep on rocking it baby!

  12. I think the slower weight loss is a great idea anyway, because it gives your skin and body time to adapt, so hopefully when you do get to goal, your body can look the best possible!

  13. Congrats! Wow! I do have two swimsuits for you. email me at with your details, I can email you pics of the suits...they are a snug 20W and 16/18W. :)

  14. WOW:) What a fantastic 9 months you have had!!

    I like your 180lb theroy:)

  15. This was such a great post! I agree with so many things :) 107 pounds down ain't bad chica. Ain't bad at all :)