541 days ago, I took my life back.

18 months + 1 day ago, I was banded. I could go on and on about how it was one of the best decisions I've ever made, but you know what? We all know that. How about I let the numbers and pictures speak for themselves?

133 lbs lost

111.75" lost

20 BMI points lost

Body shot comparisons - click on the pic for full-size version

 Facial Comparison - again, click for full-size.

 And my fav!

the above shots super-imposed, so you can see how much narrower my shoulders are!

An Ode to Bacon

Why is it when I am on the tighter side, thick liquids are often hard to get down, but bacon (and tortilla chips) always go down just fine? Seriously, makes no sense to me, but you know, if I had to pick a go-to food, bacon would have been at the top of my list. Therefore, here it is:

An Ode to Bacon

There once was a girl who loved bacon

She even said she'd never forsake 'on.

She loved it thick and crispy

Or even thin and wispy.

Oh bacon, you're never mistaken!

Thoughts on hunger and fills...

Someone asked about my fill level yesterday, which got me to thinking, which is always dangerous. HA!

Anyhow, I am currently at about 10.5 or 11 in a 14 cc band. I was as high as 11.5 or so, but that fill gradually got tighter until I had a small unfill about 6 months ago. If I'm being honest, I could use another small unfill, but I'm not PB'ing, so I am going to ride it out for another 10 lbs or so to see if it loosens up at all.

But here's what I was thinking. I never got that FULL feeling. Ever. Even when I was too tight. I have always had that "full up top, still hungry down below" feeling. Like my pouch was phsyically full, but it didn't really do anything for the sensation of hunger.

That being said, my feelings of hunger have diminished greatly. I honestly think it's learned. It's 90% a head game. I know, I know, everyone already knows it's a head game. It's not like this is earth-shattering, breaking news. But it is for me. I think I finally have accepted that the band has done more for my head than it did for my stomach.

I have been banded almost 18 months, and I am just kind of used to how my hunger levels feel. I rarely feel REALLY hungry, and I rarely feel REALLY full. Don't get me wrong, I get hungry, but it's not a consuming hunger. It's more like a "I should eat something, because I'm feeling a bit weak/headachy/hollow." Likewise, I do get full, but it's never a "I just ate so much, I'm gonna bust" feeling. It's more like a "I've had some food, and that's enough. It's too much work to eat more" feeling.

I guess my point is I was looking for this elusive FULL feeling, which is why I ended up too filled. It never happened. But my hunger is now totally manageable. It doesn't control my every waking thought now. There are days where I wish I could just eat to feel that FULL feeling, but of course, I can't. Which is the whole point of the band, right?

And with that, I'm proud to announce I am down 130 lbs! And my BMI is now 35, on the nose. Sweet!

Bullet time

• Life is going at warp speed. I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I posted. I swear, I thought it was about 3 days!
• I have two very promising job interviews coming up. Please send any good job vibes you have my way!
• It's been more than a year since my last fill! Seriously! My last fill was Cinco de Mayo 2010. If you are having a hard time finding restriction, do not despair. It took me FOREVER to get it and then once I got it, it's been awesome. Although I keep losing, and my band keeps getting tighter. Grrr...
• Still mostly on the low-carb bandwagon. I have had some carbs here and there, as my tight band makes eating low-carb difficult sometimes.
• I am down to 245 lbs! My collarbones are popping out, and my face actually looks kind of thin to me.
• A friend posted some pics of me on Facebook, and for the first time ever, I wasn't disgusted. I looked normal.
• I might wear a size 18W suit to my interview! I wore it my first day at my first real job in 2000. And it fits. It has NO give (it's a linen blend). And it fits. It fits. It FITS. IT FITS!
• I got to spend the day with Heidi a few weeks ago. I can't even tell you guys how awesome she is. AWE to the SOME. Seriously.
• I promise to do some progress pics this week.
• I guess that's about it. Off to catch up with my lovely bandster bloggers!

I felt normal.

I think writing this post is going to make me cry. Oops, here come the tears. Today was the first time I realized that I am a totally normal weight by US standards. I realize I am still fat by 'normal' standards, but it's not the type of fat that prohibits me from doing what I want to do.

I took my kids to a waterpark today with 3 other moms and their kids. They have only known me since I moved to FL, so they've known me since about 290 lbs (I'm now 249 lbs). Which is heavy, but not 374 lbs heavy. Anyhow, we walked up millions of steps, I carried a kid on my shoulders with another on my hip, I crawled through water tunnels, I went down water slides, I swam and ran and chased kids and walked around in my bathing suit for four hours without ever once thinking about it. I didn't dread the steps, I didn't dread the tunnels, I wasn't afraid of weight limits on anything. It was worth every second of this journey. My kids had so much fun, and so did I!

It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had no problem keeping up with the other moms. Not to mention, they are all younger than me, each only had one toddler to chase, and we stayed about an hour longer than any of them! I rocked that waterpark!

The only bummer is my legs look A-to-the-W-to-the-FUL. Seriously. My thighs were horrible when I was really heavy - tons of cellulite and super lumpy/bumpy. Now they are still full of cellulite and lumps, but they also have saggy skin and look a bit like a melted candle collided with elephant skin. Not attractive. At all. Absolutely my worst body part. I almost wanted to make a sign for my back that said, "Don't mind the legs, I've lost 125 lbs!"

In other news, I lost 1.6 lbs this week for a total of 14.4 lbs (I think) in 3 weeks of low carb. DH lost a lb (hahahahaha) for a total of 21 lbs in 3 weeks. He was whining (hahahahaha again) about only losing one pound.

I finished day 9 of shredding today. I soooo did not want to do it last night, but I did and am glad I did. Tomorrow is the last day of level 1! WOOHOO!

The pizza turned out pretty good. I'll type out the recipe tomorrow. We had Chinese chicken lettuce wraps last night and taco salads tonight. Can't say I'm bored with the low carb choices with everything we've eaten. I think I'm going to make crab cakes for tomorrow. Or shrimp scampi. YUM!

OK, off to read my book. I've got four going, but "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" really is good and I'm anxious to read more. Toodles!

Good Band News for All of Us!

I soooo forgot to tell you guys this. After the freak out a few weeks ago about that Belgian study (or wherever it was from) about how like only 10% of bands are problem-free or some other BS, I was a tad freaked out. Remember that?

I went to support group a few weeks ago and asked the leader about that news story. She's been an RN in the surgeon's office for four years. She said in that time, they've had ONE slip. ONE. No removals. And she couldn't remember for sure if she'd even seen a dilated pouch, but she said if she had, it was maybe one or two.

Four years, thousands of patients, and virtually no problems. Granted, this practice is pretty disciplined with its patients, and they are very good with follow-through with their patients, but still, isn't that good news?!

Workout blues and another virgin alert.

Frickin A. I have worked out six days in a row and guess what's happened to my weight loss? Yep. Stall. I know, I know, I know. I know what advice I'd give someone else, but seriously, I don't like it. Make it stop. I better lose 5 lbs overnight, or DH is going to weigh even less than me. Wahhhh. Not fair. Muscles are totally overrated. (Not really, just whining.)

Likewise, I think I'm eating too little. I've had this problem in the past, and I find it so ironic. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to shove my piehole full of sugar and carbs, but I have no appetite for anything Atkins-legal. Not that I don't like the food (I do), I just am not hungry. It's an interesting conundrum for a fat girl, to say the least.

As for the virgin alert, I tried my first CLICK shake today, and I feel the love. Boy oh boy, was it tasty. A tad expensive and a tad high in carbs (12 per serving), but YUMMO! Honestly, almost as good as a frappucino. Definitely better than the nasty light frappucinos. I added a bit of heavy cream to mine, and I enjoyed every sip of it.

On the menu for dinner is low carb pizza. I made a crust of eggs and a bunch of different cheeses. If it turns out good, I'll share, as it may be easier to eat for us bandsters. I hope it's good, or I may have to have a second CLICK shake for dinner. Ha.

Well, guess I have nothing else to bore you guys with today. Off to make some returns at Target and buy some hand weights. I've been working out with sugar-free Davinci syrup bottles. Yep, I'm cool like that.