So incredibly thankful on my two-year bandiversary

How could I not be thankful? I look 100x better, I feel 100x better, and I'm exactly 190 lbs lighter!

This has been an incredible journey full of lots of successes and my share of frustrations, but I think I'm most excited about the emotional and mental journey that's accompanied the weight loss. I really am a different person  inside my head and not just on the outside of my body.

I can think more clearly about emotional issues now that I am not weighed down by my weight. I don't react nearly as emotionally - nor immaturely - to negative situations. I am much better at seeing people for who they are, and how they treat me, now that I don't have to wonder if my weight is the reason I am being treated poorly. I am much more able to let things go now instead of holding resentments and grudges. I am getting much better at truly living "Live and let live" because I no longer feel the need to control everyone around me due to the lack of control with my weight. I feel my feelings because they are not buried beneath a ton of weight or being pushed down by endless amounts of food.

Add in all the obvious physical changes, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool to be me now!

For those just starting out, or perhaps struggling a bit, I just encourage you to stick with it. I started out extremely slow, gained weight after surgery, took 6 fills to get restriction, hit a six-month plateau, and had so many other challenges, but here I am, two years later, 190 lbs lighter.

And of course, this post wouldn't be complete without some PHOTOS!

Two headshots superimposed - look how much narrower my shoulders are now!

Two years ago two days ago

I meant to take a pic two days ago, but I forgot!

So, two years + two days ago, I looked like this:

10.25.09

And today, after I got back from a run, I look like this:

10.27.11

Thank you, lap-band! I totally puffy heart love you!

Ahem! Attention, attention, ATTENTION!

Some of my favorite things...

....start with S!

STEPHANIE

We spent the day together yesterday shopping and chatting. Seriously, we were tripping all over each other to talk. Now, this is not the first time we've been together, and so we'd already chatted. But honestly, I think yesterday we both realized how much we have in common - and that we are kindred spirits. At least I think so!

SHOPPING

We hit Florida Mall and did some damage. I introduced her to the joys of MAC makeup. She introduced me to the loveliness that is The Limited tops. I did refrain from spending any money there, but I just have to say I almost bought a M top! M! M! M! I did end up with a pair of $9 capris from Macy's and a really cute $7 skirt from Dillard's. Did I mention the skirt is a 14? Um, yeah, Stephanie may have had to help me zip it, but it fits, dammit!

Oh, and if you visit Stephanie's blog, will you please remind her I was RIGHT and she needs M tops? Thank you! (wink, wink - that girl is tiny and kept grabbing L tops. I set her right, for the most part!)

SUSHI

We then hit our favorite restaurant, Roy's. If you have never been, you should go. Now. We split three apps. I have to say, we both saw the food arrive, and since we were both hungry, we admitted that we didn't think it would be enough. 20 min later, she was packing up half of it to take home to her husband. Yes, old habits die hard. But we laughed and talked and ate and drank, and Stephanie flirted with the guy next to her. It was so much fun!

SKINNY GIRLS

Between the two of us, we have lost more than 300 lbs! Isn't that insane?! 300 lbs! Thank you, lapband, for making us skinny. And friends.

Approaching the motherland (with pics!)

I hear the motherland calling...I weighed 201.4 lbs this morning! I cannot believe I am almost below 200. I want to find a scale where you have to slide the little thingie over to where you think you might fall. You know the ones I am talking about, right? The ones fat girls dread, because the little slider has to go further and further to the right. Yeah, well, I want to weigh on one of those, so I can keep that sucker at 150 instead of 350!

We went to the Jersey Shore for my cousin's wedding this weekend. It was tons of fun - boardwalk, beach, wedding, food, family, friends, fun. I got to see the Jersey Shore house! It was the highlight of my weekend. Actually, the highlight of my weekend was feeling normal. Although my family is workout nuts (one cousin has done two ironmans, aunt and uncle run marathons, other cousin is a physical therapist, other cousin runs marathons around the world - literally), I still didn't feel overly conscious of myself. It was wonderful!

A few pics of our weekend...

New face shots!

I took the kids to toddler time at the fire station yesterday. It was hotter than hell, which had nothing to do with the fire fighters, and everything to do with the fact that it is mid-August in FL. No breeze, 1000% humidity, and 90+ degrees at 9 am.

Anyhow, I didn't think these pics were anything that great until I shared them on FB. I literally had 10 messages about how people barely recognized me! I went and looked again, and well, I guess I am looking good. ;) It's weird, because you get used to looking at yourself in the mirror every day, so you don't really see it. However, I will say that these last 50+ lbs I've lost are almost more noticeable than the first 100+ lbs I lost. I think I've entered that 'sculpting' phase.

So, without further adieu:

374 lbs

212 lbs

You ask, you shall receive...

Introducing me with my new hair!

The thing I like about the cut is I can flip it out, smooth it down, fluff it up, wear it to the side, wear it more forward, and about a million other ways. It's fun!

541 days ago, I took my life back.

18 months + 1 day ago, I was banded. I could go on and on about how it was one of the best decisions I've ever made, but you know what? We all know that. How about I let the numbers and pictures speak for themselves?

133 lbs lost

111.75" lost

20 BMI points lost

Body shot comparisons - click on the pic for full-size version

 Facial Comparison - again, click for full-size.

 And my fav!

the above shots super-imposed, so you can see how much narrower my shoulders are!

Exhausted

Left the house at 9 am Friday and returned at 11:30 pm last night. Two flights, two toddlers, two car seats, a double stroller, six carry-ons, a 49.6 lb checked suitcase, arriving at the hotel at 4:45 pm and having to be at the rehearsal at 5 pm, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, time with friends, lunch with family, getting entire family ready, pictures before ceremony, ceremony, reception, one wandering toddler, one dancing fool toddler, no naps, sharing beds with toddlers, a Sunday brunch with family, rushing to the airport, and more. All in about 61 hours (if I am doing the math right).

I am exhausted.

On the band-front, I'm afraid to get on the scale. My unfill was a little too effective. I need a bit of a fill, but I'm going to give it a week to see how I do. Need to get back to the gym this week and get serious about my half-marathon training.

However, I also wanted to share some pics (I'll post some more of the kids after I've unpacked); the first is from my son's baptism 10.25.09, the second is from my daughter's second birthday 11.15.09, and the third is from this weekend, 10.01.10. About 10-11 months of changing. I realize I do comparison shots every so often, but I think 'real life' shots tell the story more clearly in a lot of ways. And I have to be honest, I have about 75 lbs to go, but the truth is, if I stayed here for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be disappointed. Not to say I am stopping, not by any stretch, but I am okay with where I am, if that makes any sense.

10.25.09

11.15.09

10.01.10

10 month progress pics

Ok, I'll just say it - I have no shame - I am looking GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

(It's really hard to line up the pics, because my shoulders are so much lower now! Not something I would have ever expected!)

200, spinning, shoulders, ole!

200
200 followers! You guys, seriously. I love you all! It's so amazing that you guys want to hear what I have to say, that you want to support me, that you care enough to take the time to listen. Thank you!!!! If I'm not following you, do let me know, so I can.

Spinning
I went to spinning this morning and did the whole class! And my butt doesn't hurt. I'm not sure which part I'm more excited about; heck, both are pretty exciting to me!

Shoulders
My shoulders are being unburied with every pound I lose. I looked in the mirror last night and had to take some pics because I was shocked! In the best possible way.

I couldn't quite capture what I was seeing, but these should give you an idea. They go straight across. No lumps. They are starting to get that little indent right below the shoulder, above the arm pit. They feel smoothly round. It's awesome. Now if I the batwings would shrink a little so my widest spot is my shoulders and not my mid-arm/biceps, that would be really cool.

109 lbs lost pics!

It's everyone's favorite time - picture time! A little lazy editing here, and I turned the opposite of how I normally do, but I think you'll be able to see a bit of a difference. Or maybe a 109 lb difference!

It's so weird looking back; I swear I hardly recognize the 'before me'. That was not the person I was meant to be. I've got a ways to go yet, but I feel like I recognize myself again. I am me again. And it feels good.


(Click on any pic to make it larger.)

The post you've all been waiting for...

No, not a vlog. Joey said I wasn't allowed to do one until I hit 100 lbs. ;) You're safe for another 3.2 lbs. In my world, that means a week.

No, today's post is PICTURES! Of yours truly. The one you all secretly want to be like. Fine, I know no one really wants to be me...the pressure of being this awesome is really overwhelming. HAHA!

OK, seriously, what is with me today? The compliments have gone to my head apparently.

Back to the regularly scheduled post, here are some fat, skinny, and in-between pics of me over the last 10-ish years...the pics are in order of weight, not date.

March 2008 - 320ish - I remember seeing this picture and wanting to cry. My ass is W-I-D-E.
May 2006 - 320ish - Our wedding and honeymoon. Wedding dress was a size 24, and it only fit because it wasn't tight in my problem areas - hips/butt/thighs.
Size 28 jeans.

October 2005 - 320ish - my headshot for work. I did cry when I saw this.

Christmas 2006 - 275ish - with my bestie from WI. Size 24 jeans. Yes, she is gorgeous and skinny. She runs and spins and does triathlons, but even if she didn't (and when she didn't), she maxes out about 10 lbs above this weight. I still love her.
Earlish 2007 - 265ish - my last successful attempt at WW. I had lost 50 lbs at this point.
June 2007 - 275ish - about 3 months pregnant with DD

OK, enough of the fat befores. How about some of the skinny befores? I had to dig waaaaayyyyy back for these.

November 1999 - 200ish lbs - home from grad school for Thanksgiving. I'd lost a bunch of weight over the summer (you'll see pics in a minute) and was slowly gaining it back.

November 1999 again - 200ish - size 16 jeans from Old Navy. (With my family - parents, brother, and dad's parents). My dad recently lost 75 lbs (from about the size in this pic) and has kept it off for 6 months. My mom has been the same weight for years - she's one who doesn't care about food. My brother is constantly trying to gain weight.

Summer 1999 - one of two triathlons I completed that summer - the lowest I got with WW was 191 lbs, so I am somewhere around there. I was wearing 12s and 14s from Old Navy at that point.

With my ex, but it shows you just how thin my face was!

Crossing the finish line!

Summer 1979 - about 40 lbs and last time I rocked a bikini :)

The pics of me at 191-200 lbs make me happy. I realize I still had some weight to lose, but after many years of carrying many extra pounds, I might be perfectly content there. Then again, more and more of me is wanting to be 'thin' when this is all said and done. I've got about 90 lbs to go before I really need to worry about it, though!

Four score and seven months ago...

...I was banded. (Okay, it was yesterday, but I didn't get a chance to post this. My house is, however, completely unpacked! GO ME! An entire house in 5 days. I rock.)

In 7 months, I've lost 85+ lbs. I haven't taken measurements in about a month, but I will in the next day or two and post that as well. However, I did do progress pics for your viewing pleasure. (And please, no comments on the crappy photoshop job - I actually used PowerPoint, because PS makes my computer crawl sloooooooowwwww.)

JOEY - recognize the shirt? JEN - recognize the pants? I am wearing about 95% sisterhood clothes at this point. I can't tell you how much you all rock for keeping me clothed!

6 months ago today...

...I was starving. And nervous. And getting cold feet.

I was starving because I'd eaten nothing but protein shakes for two weeks, nothing but clear liquids for 24 hours, and NOTHING the day of surgery. My surgery ended up not being until almost 3 pm, and while food would have been nice, I probably would have traded my first born for a drink by about 1 pm. Oh, I was so thirsty. And then when I woke up, I thought they'd sent me on a year-long hike through the desert without water rather than giving me a band - I couldn't even speak, my mouth was so dry.

But they didn't send me on a hike, I really did get banded. It's been a wild ride - waiting for restriction, fills that swell so tight and then relax to basically nothing, tears, smiles, frustrations, celebrations, and more. However, it's been more than all the frustrations and tears, because the band has given me my life back. It's given me hope. It's made me a better mother, wife, daughter, friend, and human being. I know that sounds dramatic, but it is true. I had resigned myself to being fat forever, and with that resignation went my dreams and aspirations, my self-confidence and motivation, my desire to really live. Being fat had robbed my kids of a mother who was happy, my husband of a wife who felt beautiful, my parents of the self-confident daughter they'd so lovingly raised, and my friends of the friend who could inspire them to do great things.

The band is bringing back the person I was. And while it's not all good (I'm far from perfect!), the good far outweighs the bad (no pun intended).

In the last 182 days, I've lost:

• 70.6 lbs total.
• 6 oz per day, on average (yes, I am a stats geek).
• 50+ inches.
• 2 clothing sizes, from what was probably a 30W (I don't really know as I stuck to LB size 8) to mostly 26W on the bottom, and a tight 3x to 2x (some 1x) on top.
• Swollen ankles.
• My fear of gaining weight back.
• My resignation of being fat forever.

In the last 182 days, I've gained:

• A wonderfully supportive blogging community of true friends.
• New, smaller, sassy clothes (thank you, sisterhood).
• Confidence in being able to lose ALL my excess weight.
  

And as the pounds have melted away, they've unburied:

• My self-confidence.
• My happiness.
• My sparkling smile.
• My ankle bones.
• The ability to dream about the future.
• The amazing person I was meant to be.

I am looking forward to the next six months and beyond. There's so much more in store for me as I continue to lose and become the new me.

Thanks so much for all your support along the way. I read each and every comment, often 3 or 4 times, because they mean so much to me. I love you all!