So incredibly thankful on my two-year bandiversary

How could I not be thankful? I look 100x better, I feel 100x better, and I'm exactly 190 lbs lighter!

This has been an incredible journey full of lots of successes and my share of frustrations, but I think I'm most excited about the emotional and mental journey that's accompanied the weight loss. I really am a different person  inside my head and not just on the outside of my body.

I can think more clearly about emotional issues now that I am not weighed down by my weight. I don't react nearly as emotionally - nor immaturely - to negative situations. I am much better at seeing people for who they are, and how they treat me, now that I don't have to wonder if my weight is the reason I am being treated poorly. I am much more able to let things go now instead of holding resentments and grudges. I am getting much better at truly living "Live and let live" because I no longer feel the need to control everyone around me due to the lack of control with my weight. I feel my feelings because they are not buried beneath a ton of weight or being pushed down by endless amounts of food.

Add in all the obvious physical changes, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool to be me now!

For those just starting out, or perhaps struggling a bit, I just encourage you to stick with it. I started out extremely slow, gained weight after surgery, took 6 fills to get restriction, hit a six-month plateau, and had so many other challenges, but here I am, two years later, 190 lbs lighter.

And of course, this post wouldn't be complete without some PHOTOS!

Two headshots superimposed - look how much narrower my shoulders are now!

I can feel the love!

I really felt loved yesterday with all the supportive comments, so thank you!

I weigh less than my DL says I do!

My weight starts with a 1!

It's surreal.

I'm working really hard to get some house projects done this week, then a dear friend is in town next week, and finally the following week, I am going to get back to working out.

I've got my morning and afternoon routines down, I'm getting my regular work hours in, and I am finally just about ready to get serious about working out.

I'm going to try a gym in the area. It's the only one with childcare, so it's my only option. I would love to not join a gym, but I am not sure if that is feasible with two toddlers that don't nap, two toddlers who hate being in the stroller for more than 2.2 seconds, and a husband who works 10+ hours/day. We'll see - I've debated trying videos again when the kids are home, or going running right when the husband walks in the door. But these aren't really ideal. I have a friend who works out 3-4 days/week at the gym at 4 pm, which would actually be ideal for me. So, we'll see. The bottom line is I need to do whatever is going to work for me long-term.

I need to exercise. I need to exercise. I need to exercise.

There. I said it publicly, so now I must do it!

Oh yeah, who's OVERWEIGHT?!?!?!?!

ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!

That's right - as of this morning, I am no longer obese! I am officially 'only' overweight!

I started with a BMI of 53 or 54 and am now at 29.9.

I wore a pair of pants from the one and only Lynda yesterday. Size 14. No W. Yes, they are generous, but a 14 nonetheless. And a size L top from the one and only Jacquie.

I looked damn good.

And I feel even better!

We are flying next week, and I have literally NO stress about it. I packed a box of stuff for us, and I packed a size 16 dress, an XL dress, a size 16 skirt, and a pair of size 16 capris. Who's clothes are these?

My band is being a bit fickle the past two days - probably means TMI is on its way - but honestly, I don't even care. It's sooooooo worth it!

Who's a Bad A$$?

Me, that's who!

You know why?

I've lost 150 mother fuckin' lbs!

150.

ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY POUNDS!

That's 1 x 150.

Or 10 x 15.

Or 6 x 25.

Or 3 x 50.

Or 2 x 75.

No matter how you do the math, I have lost 150 lbs!

I think even more incredible to me is I only have 34 lbs left until my first goal. That's how much "normal" people need to lose. 34 lbs ain't shit!

In other news, I got the job! YEAH! The house hunt isn't going quite as well. Whoever said this is a buyer's market lied. We made an offer on one house that had been on the market for 3 days, and we had major competition. We still haven't heard, which I guess means it's not ours. We're heading out again tonight, because we have to be out of our rental in 24 days. To say I am stressed would be a bit of an understatement. Ha!

541 days ago, I took my life back.

18 months + 1 day ago, I was banded. I could go on and on about how it was one of the best decisions I've ever made, but you know what? We all know that. How about I let the numbers and pictures speak for themselves?

133 lbs lost

111.75" lost

20 BMI points lost

Body shot comparisons - click on the pic for full-size version

 Facial Comparison - again, click for full-size.

 And my fav!

the above shots super-imposed, so you can see how much narrower my shoulders are!

Thoughts on hunger and fills...

Someone asked about my fill level yesterday, which got me to thinking, which is always dangerous. HA!

Anyhow, I am currently at about 10.5 or 11 in a 14 cc band. I was as high as 11.5 or so, but that fill gradually got tighter until I had a small unfill about 6 months ago. If I'm being honest, I could use another small unfill, but I'm not PB'ing, so I am going to ride it out for another 10 lbs or so to see if it loosens up at all.

But here's what I was thinking. I never got that FULL feeling. Ever. Even when I was too tight. I have always had that "full up top, still hungry down below" feeling. Like my pouch was phsyically full, but it didn't really do anything for the sensation of hunger.

That being said, my feelings of hunger have diminished greatly. I honestly think it's learned. It's 90% a head game. I know, I know, everyone already knows it's a head game. It's not like this is earth-shattering, breaking news. But it is for me. I think I finally have accepted that the band has done more for my head than it did for my stomach.

I have been banded almost 18 months, and I am just kind of used to how my hunger levels feel. I rarely feel REALLY hungry, and I rarely feel REALLY full. Don't get me wrong, I get hungry, but it's not a consuming hunger. It's more like a "I should eat something, because I'm feeling a bit weak/headachy/hollow." Likewise, I do get full, but it's never a "I just ate so much, I'm gonna bust" feeling. It's more like a "I've had some food, and that's enough. It's too much work to eat more" feeling.

I guess my point is I was looking for this elusive FULL feeling, which is why I ended up too filled. It never happened. But my hunger is now totally manageable. It doesn't control my every waking thought now. There are days where I wish I could just eat to feel that FULL feeling, but of course, I can't. Which is the whole point of the band, right?

And with that, I'm proud to announce I am down 130 lbs! And my BMI is now 35, on the nose. Sweet!

Vacation...All I ever wanted!

We took our first vacation in more than a year over the weekend. It was only 3 days and we stayed at my parents' place (a fifth wheel), so not a VACATION-vacation, but away from the hustle and bustle of life at least. We swam and swam and soaked in the hot tubs and went to the beach and ate good food and got lots of sun. It was wonderful.

And now I'm back and on Atkins. 16 hours in, and I am doing good. HAHAHAHA

I had coffee with heavy cream and splenda for breakfast. Lunch was two deviled eggs and six homemade pepper poppers (half of a mini sweet pepper stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped with bacon). Snack was a few cheese crisps (microwaved cheese) with some guacamole. Dinner is chicken chunks in a garlic cream sauce served over riced cauliflower, green beans, and a side salad (with blue cheese and bacon - yum!). If I need a snack tonight, it'll either be homemade hot cocoa (made with cream) or a cup of coffee. DH is doing it with me, too.

Oh, guess what? He officially weighs two pounds more than me, so I have to lose as fast as him! The bummer is I don't know what the scale was doing when I thought I was back to my lowest, but I weighed 263.8 lbs this morning. That's almost 14 lbs up from my lowest! Gulp. Anyhow, I will pretend about 6 lbs of it is water weight, so I need to lose 8 real lbs to get back to where I was in late September.

Anyhow, back to food. It's funny how many recipes I'm anxious to try. My fridge and freezer are jam-packed with food, and there's definitely more I want to make than I could possibly eat in probably a month! I'm hoping the variety and creativity of the recipes I've found will keep us motivated to keep with it. And I'm really hoping the weight flies off for the first few weeks.

You know how I am with goals, right? Well, I've sucked with them lately, but you know, I still like to set them, even if I forget them. (Anyone catch that reference?) So, my 18-month bandiversary is May 25, and our five-year wedding anniversary is May 27. May 27 is exactly 51 days from today. I'd really love to be at 232 lbs on that date, which is what I weighed the first time I joined Weight Watchers, but that would be almost 32 lbs lost in 51 days. Don't think that is gonna happen. 234 lbs would also be nice, as that would be 140 lbs lost, but again that would be 30 lbs lost in 51 days, which also is not gonna happen. Sooooo, I guess  will settle for under 240 lbs. That would be 24 lbs lost in 51 days. Still a stretch, but definitely doable.

So, with that, I guess I'll go prep dinner and clean something in this house. I feel like all I ever do is clean, and all I ever see is messes. I really, really need a job! Speaking of, keep your fingers crossed - I had two interviews last Thursday, including a second interview with a job I'd really like to be offered. Thanks!

THANK YOU!

I knew posting here would help. Thanks for the supportive comments, the emails, the phone calls...I especially took to heart those of you who said I had inspired you. I felt (feel?) so lost that I forget that other people don't see me that way. Thank you!

I got to hang out with Heidi yesterday, and let me tell you, that woman is good for the soul.

I chatted with Angela Friday night, and we decided to do a hard-core protein shake/lean protein/steamed veggie "get serious" plan for two weeks. Protein shakes during the day, and lean protein+steamed veggies for dinner. I want to kick start my weight loss, as does she. We're starting tomorrow - anyone else???

I started Zoloft again. I was afraid of the side effects, specifically gaining weight, but it's not like I'm losing without it, so why not give it a real shot? So I am.

And just to clarify a few things, just so you guys don't think I'm a slacker. I live in a vacation home community. Out of the 400 or so houses in our neighborhood, I know of two others that are occupied annually (by old folks, nonetheless). And actually, the one couple has theirs up for sale. Anyhow, the rest of the houses, and I am not exaggerating, are vacation rentals. (Ours was as well until we rented it.) I have no neighbors. Obviously, a bad idea in hingsight, but we're only here until June, so we'll see where we go once our lease is up.

On the subject of babysitters, I'd LOVE to hire someone to watch the kids even once/week. So far, though, everyone I've contacted is $10-12/hour. Without me working, that's something we just can't afford. I am doing a babysitting swap with some of the moms in my moms' group, but that comes with a price of course - having to watch someone else's kids!

I'm not giving up. I just have to remember where I came from:

And where I am now:

The only obstacle between me and success is me.

Exhausted but exhilarating...

I'm too tired to blog much about my weekend, because I spent it with three amazing women - Heidi, Stephanie, and Maria - doing amazing things. Like riding roller coasters. Yep, me, I fit on every roller coaster with no problem! And here's the proof:

My 2011 motto is...

PUSHING BEYOND MYSELF

I am ready to push my limits, stretch my boundaries, create new healthy routines, and live the life I was meant to live. A life that was made much more possible because of weight loss surgery, but a life that does not revolve just around my weight loss. It's about giving back, dreaming big, nurturing relationships, and most of all, pushing beyond who I was.

I would consider 2010 my "staging year". I did a lot of work to position myself (and my family) to have a fantastic 2011. I am ready to discover who I really am and what I really love. I am ready to live a life that is authentic, that at times pushes my limits while other times leaving me feeling content, that makes me feel good about who I am and what I contribute to my family, friends, and the world.

I am challenging myself to accomplish 111 things in 2011. Some are small, some are BIG, some are mundane, some are necessary, some are fantastical, some are very personal (I'm not sharing with anyone IRL except you guys), and some are just plain boring. Each has a purpose, though, the purpose of pushing me beyond myself.

Without further adieu, here is my list of "111 Things to Accomplish in 2011":

Household

1. Go on 3 month-long spending hiatuses.
2. Make bed daily.
3. Scoop litter boxes daily.
4. Establish a house-cleaning routine.
5. Leave the kitchen clean nightly.
6. Brush the cats weekly.
7. Create 7 easy dinners.
8. Create 7 crockpot dinners.
9. Create 7 cheap dinners.
10. Create 7 meatless dinners.
11. Create 6 week-long dinner menus.
12. Try 12 new recipes.
13. Send my Christmas Cards by 12/1/11.
14. Declutter each room once.
15. Have 12 no-food-waste weeks.
16. Swap out kids' toys weekly.
17. Swap out kids' books weekly.

Projects

18. Make Elise's baby book.
19. Make Beckett's baby book.
20. Make 2009 family album.
21. Make 2010 family album.
22. Make 2011 family album.
23. Organize and back-up all photos.
24. Scan all photos.
25. Scan all mom's photos.
26. Organize and back-up all videos.
27. Upload all cd's to iTunes.
28. Scan Elise's artwork weekly.
29. Scan Beckett's artwork weekly.

Photography

30. Complete a Project 365.
31. Learn how to use off-camera flash.
32. Complete Besties project.
33. Do 12 portfolio building shoots.
34. Launch amycooperphotography.com.
35. Host 3 mini-sessions.

Health

36. Floss daily.
37. Run 365 miles.
38. Track my miles run.
39. Post 3x/week on babblesofabandster.
40. Eat 2 different veggies daily.
41. Eat 2 different fruits daily.
42. Brush Beckett's teeth 2x/day
43. Brush Elise's teeth 2x/day.
44. Drink 2 liters of water daily.
45. Prepare one meatless dinner per week.
46. Eat completely meatless one day per week.
47. Prep one cold vegetable salad weekly.
48. Take Juice+ daily.
49. Give Beckett Juice+ daily.
50. Give Elise Juice+ daily.
51. Ensure Elise eats 2 fruits daily.
52. Ensure Beckett eats 2 fruits daily.
53. Ensure Elise eats 2 veggies daily.
54. Ensure Beckett eats 2 veggies daily.
55. Have cut-up veggies in fridge at all times.
56. Have cut-up fruit in fridge at all times.
57. Get my moles checked twice.
58. See the dentist twice.
59. Get a complete physical.

Mental Health

60. Post 3x/week on amytoldyouso.
61. Read 52 books.
62. Read 13 non-fiction books.
63. Read 13 "classics".
64. Turn the tv and computer off simultaneously for one hour daily.
65. Establish a morning routine.
66. Respond to emails within 24 hours.
67. Respond to phone calls within 24 hours.
68. Go 3 days (individually) with no phone, internet, or tv.
69. Join a local women's social group.
70. Post 1x/week to wowthatsyummy.

Career

71. Apply for 20 jobs/week as necessary.
72. Write 3 grants for pay.
73. Find the right job for me.

Giving Back

74. Find volunteer work.
75. Do 12 random acts of kindness.
76. Donate blood six times.
77. Join the bone marrow registry.

Relationships

78. Send 24 cards to friends & family.
79. Implement "Xtreme Niceness" week once/month.
80. Have cuddle night with Travis 1x/week.
81. Write 24 love notes to Travis.
82. Plan a surprise weekend away for Travis and me.
83. Have 12 date nights with Travis.
84. Write to 6 friends and tell them how much they mean to me.
85. Surprise Travis at work with homemade peanut butter cookies.
86. Write my mom a letter telling her how much she means to me.
87. Contact Ben 1x/week.
88. Celebrate our five-year anniversary meaningfully.

Family

89. Start Daddy & Daughter time.
90. Start Mommy & Daughter time.
91. Start Mommy & Son time.
92. Start Daddy & Son time.
93. Start a Family Fun Night tradition.
94. Walk 3x/week in the evenings with the kids.
95. Teach Beckett to swim underwater.
96. Read 3 books to Elise daily.
97. Read 3 books to Beckett daily.
98. Take kids to the library weekly.
99. Teach Elise to read.
100. Do a family photo shoot.

Dream BIG!

101. Lose 50 lbs in the first 111 days of 2011.
102. Exercise every day of January.
103. Complete a half-marathon.
104. Apply for Wheel of Fortune.
105. See the Packers play.
106. Fire a gun.
107. Run a 7-minute mile.
108. Get a tattoo in honor of the kids.
109. Do a pull-up.
110. Get hypnotized.
111. Hit my goal weight!

2010 in Review

It's the last day of 2010. They were the best of times, they were the worst of times...OK, not really. 2010 was actually a BIG year for me. Losing weight, moving, becoming a SAHM. I feel like I made a lot of positive changes and am positioned for 2011 to be my best year yet. To review, my motto for 2010 was:

LESS is MORE.
Less stuff, less debt, less weight, less stress, less waste.

Less Stuff 
Goal: I hate clutter. And we don't have much clutter, especially since 2009 was the Year of the Family for us (I dubbed it that) and I got rid of tons of clutter. But with the kids' toys and my photography stuff, it's getting to be a bit much. I am ready to get down to basics and get rid of everything but the bare necessities.

Update: I think this will always be a battle, but we got rid of 90% of our stuff when we moved. I'm working on paring down the kids' toys and getting back to basics. But overall, I did really well on this.
Grade: A

Less Debt 
Goal: We did a great job in 2009 of paying off debt. We're down to a personal family loan, DH's car, and DH's school loan. They're pretty large, so we won't be able to pay them off in 2010, but I intend to make a good dent in them while also saving a nice chunk of change.
Update: We've continually paid on our debt without taking on any new debt. While I wish it was gone, I knew it wouldn't be completely gone by the end of 2010. Not taking on new debt is HUGE for us, though, so I call this one a success.
Grade: A

Less Weight
Goal: I started 2010 at 335ish. I will be under 250 (hopefully by quite a bit!) by the first day of 2011.
Update: I stalled out for the last 3 months, but I am right at 250. Not under by quite a bit, but I did lose 85 lbs this year!
Grade: B+

Less Stress
Goal: DH and I have some big changes heading our way, and if all goes well, a HUGE part of our stress is about to be alleviated. For fear of jinxing ourselves, I won't go into detail yet, but I will soon.
Update: HAHA! When I wrote this, our move was still totally up in the air. But it came through and we are here, and yes, a huge amount of our stress has been alleviated! I need to find a job, which is stressing me a tad bit, but I've worked hard this year to establish routines that destress our lives. It's a work in progress.
Grade: B+

Less Waste
Goal: I really want to make this year about wasting less which will help with the less stuff and less debt parts of my motto. No wasted food, no wasted money, no buying unnecessary stuff, no impulse shopping (grocery or otherwise). We are also going to work on being greener - fewer one-use items and so on.
Update: I have been really working on this. Reusing leftovers, freezing them before they go bad, using reusable shopping bags, consolidating errands, etc. And now that I am a SAHM, we don't have the extra money for any impulse shopping, so no worries there. I got a bit lacksadaisical with it the past few months, so time to tighten up a bit as we head into the new year.
Grade: B

Overall

I think I get an A- for 2010. I accomplished a lot of my goals and made significant progress towards those I did not accomplish. For the first time in a long time, I feel peaceful with the year that has gone and hopeful about the one to come.

Need a lighter

I need someone to light my fire. I am just kinda coasting along. I'm not gaining, which is HUGE, but I'm not losing either. And I still have 70ish lbs to lose.

I am hoping some time with my fellow bandsters this weekend will help. As will the half-marathon that's in less than two months. As will the new year.

I'm putting together a list of 111 things I want to accomplish in 2011. Some are small (make my bed daily), some are big (find my dream job), and some are in-between (read 13 classics). The one that is most important to me, however, is hitting my goal weight. I CAN do it. I just need to find that fire again.

Coasting was fine. I really am okay with it. But the time for coasting is over. I'm going back to work sooner than later. I had a couple of months to enjoy not being hyper-vigilant. But the time has come for me to get back on the horse and ride it to the finish line.

What really motivated me was watching "I Used To Be Fat" on MTV last night. Gabrielle was 17 and had 111 days before heading off for college. She lost 90 lbs in those 111 days with lots of hard work. She was also finishing up high school and working. I can certainly lose 50 lbs in 111 days if all I have to do is take care of two kids, right? She looked AMAZING.

So, come on, ladies, LIGHT MY FIRE!

ETA: I decided it was unethical to write this post and not DO something, so I just returned from a 2 mile jog while pushing the kiddos in the stroller. Trying to get that bonfire going, Sandy Lee!

A day late, but not a dollar short - A year in review

Hope you'll all forgive me for missing my bandiversary yesterday. With it falling on Thanksgiving, you know, I was busy stuffing my face full of food. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to admit that? Ha!

So, what is there to say about this past year that I haven't already said? Not much. I feel like I've shared nearly every thought and experience I've had with my band over the last year with you guys. It's certainly been a roller coaster, thankfully with more ups than downs, but a wild ride nonetheless. I'm having a terrible time composing my thoughts about where I am and where I've been, so how about a few top ten lists to help me sort out my thoughts?

Top 10 Ups Since Being Banded

10. This lovely community, especially the sisterhood without which I'd be either naked or broke.
9. Signing up for a half-marathon. While the training hasn't started in earnest, I am actually looking forward to it. We'll see how I feel after my first 10-mile training session.
8. Lack of anxiety over flying. 'Nuff said.
7. Going down the slide at Animal Kingdom with my daughter before I realized I didn't even have to consider if I'd fit or not. Yeah, I cried that day.
6. Buying a size S/M sweater from Loft. LALALALA I can't hear you telling me it ran large LALALALALA All I know is it has an S on the tag.
5. Painting my own toenails and being able to breathe. I still get pretty giddy about that one.
4. Not freaking out when my BFF announced she was engaged, panicking over finding a dress that wouldn't look like a tent on me. Or looking like a whale next to her since she's a stick.
3. After-hours extracurriculars with DH. I don't think you want or need any more details.
2. Accepting that I can actually lose every single pound of excess weight.
1. LIVING instead of obsessing about food. The freedom I feel is indescribable.

Top 10 Downs Since Being Banded

10. PB'ing. I still hate it. I don't urp up like some - I ralph up pretty forcibly every time.
9. My month or so of being uber-tight. That's a hell of a way to lose weight.
8. Moving and having to find new after-care. I never imagined how difficult that would be.
7. My feet are shrinking out of some of my favorite shoes!
6. Batwings and elephant thighs. I'm learning to accept them, but it doesn't mean I have to like them.
5. Still being fat after losing 125 lbs. I know I've come miles, but I still have a mile or two left to go, and it sometimes really gets to me that I let it go as far as it did.
4. Realizing how poorly I was treated by society when I was fat. I never thought I was, but now I am realizing it was worse than I accepted.
3. Waiting for my head to catch up with my body. This is such a mental game, and to be honest, it's exhausting quite often.
2. My two or so months of depression. I was totally unprepared for the emotions, even though I thought I was prepared to deal with the changes.
1. Realizing I should have done this when my mom first brought it up years ago. I was too stubborn and proud to even consider it.

Top 10 Reasons I Will Lose the Rest & Keep It All Off

10. This lovely community - your support is amazing.
9. I still love food, but I don't LOVE food anymore, if that makes sense.
8. I'm no longer too proud or stubborn to admit when a problem is bigger than me.
7. Going back is simply not an option.
6. My kids deserve this mom, not their old mom. Hubby, too, even if he drives me nuts 90% of the time.
5. I can live with a too-tight band if I have to. Not fun, but I can do it if need be to get back on track or what not.
4. I will NOT add to the stereotype/statistics of "the band isn't as good as bypass/other wls". I am too competitive.
3. My 40s are going to be the best decade of my life (yet), so I have a few more years to perfect this body before I take on the 40s and show them what I'm made of!
2. I owe it to myself and my creator/the universe to make the most of this body. That's more spiritual than I normally get, but I really feel it lately.
1. I'm HOT when I'm skinny!


Finally, a bandiversary post wouldn't be worth anything without a few then and now pics. Alas, I present my befores and afters - 125 lbs less of me AKA 1/3 less of me AKA I've worked my ass off this year and am damn proud of where I am!

October 2009 - 374 lbs

November 2010 - 249 lbs

November 15, 2009 - DD's 2nd birthday

November 15, 2010 - DD's 3rd birthday

November 2010 - feeling like I can do silly things in public and not be "that fat girl"

Here.

I'm here. Thanks to everyone who checked up on me - Maria, Heidi, Angela...It's so nice knowing I am missed.

I talked to my gyn about my unhappiness/depression/issues, and she prescribed Zoloft. I have the prescription filled, but I haven't taken it yet. I'm just not sure I want to take any meds. Sigh. If I'm debating it this much, I should probably just take them, right? (ETA: It's not that I feel shame taking them - it's the side effects I'm concerned about - weight gain, jittery, insomnia, decreased sex drive, etc.)

Other than that, I am eating crappy and exercising even less. That changes this minute. I have a half-marathon to run in 4 months - I must get my butt in gear. I also have a one year bandiversary approaching, and I'd like to lose at least 130 lbs in the first year, if not more. I also know I'll feel better if I do both of those things. I also need to get a bit of a refill; it's just time and money holding me back.

On a fun note, DH & I just bought Disney passes (they started a monthly payment plan), and we took the kids to the Magic Kingdom for their first visit last weekend. I think we'll head back again this weekend.

Finally, anyone out there a resume expert? If so, would you be willing to help me? I think I have a strong resume, but it needs to be stronger.

I promise to start posting and commenting again. I missed you too much to stay away!

Exhausted

Left the house at 9 am Friday and returned at 11:30 pm last night. Two flights, two toddlers, two car seats, a double stroller, six carry-ons, a 49.6 lb checked suitcase, arriving at the hotel at 4:45 pm and having to be at the rehearsal at 5 pm, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, time with friends, lunch with family, getting entire family ready, pictures before ceremony, ceremony, reception, one wandering toddler, one dancing fool toddler, no naps, sharing beds with toddlers, a Sunday brunch with family, rushing to the airport, and more. All in about 61 hours (if I am doing the math right).

I am exhausted.

On the band-front, I'm afraid to get on the scale. My unfill was a little too effective. I need a bit of a fill, but I'm going to give it a week to see how I do. Need to get back to the gym this week and get serious about my half-marathon training.

However, I also wanted to share some pics (I'll post some more of the kids after I've unpacked); the first is from my son's baptism 10.25.09, the second is from my daughter's second birthday 11.15.09, and the third is from this weekend, 10.01.10. About 10-11 months of changing. I realize I do comparison shots every so often, but I think 'real life' shots tell the story more clearly in a lot of ways. And I have to be honest, I have about 75 lbs to go, but the truth is, if I stayed here for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be disappointed. Not to say I am stopping, not by any stretch, but I am okay with where I am, if that makes any sense.

10.25.09

11.15.09

10.01.10

6 inches make me happy!

Get your minds out of the gutter! From needing an extender to having at least 6 extra inches...

Mucho better, thankyouverymuch

I'm not pressing the issue, but I have had two huge bottles of water and a venti full-octane (whole milk) latte with no problems whatsoever today. No gurgling, no feeling stuck, going down fine.

I'm still going for a slight unfill when I can, hopefully next week, but I'm not feeling as desperate as I was.

I am going to do true liquids today and ease back into mushies tomorrow, assuming I still feel good.

The upside of this is I'm down 3+ lbs this week for a grand total of 119.2 lbs. Sunday is my 10-month bandiversary, and I won't lie, it'd be nice to be at an even 120 lbs lost by then!

Other than that, I am highly jealous of all this BOOB talk. And BOOB action. Sigh. So sad. But I did a little retail therapy today and bought some gorgeous 3.25" heels to wear to the wedding next weekend. When I was fatter, I never wore heels (for obvious reasons). I am trying them around the house to make sure I can handle them; I sure hope I can - they make my feet look uber-sexy!

All you BOOBS, have fun. And please promise we're going to do this again soon! Someone (Kristen, I think) mentioned a BOOBS cruise. I am ALL OVER THAT. :) Or FL. That would be easy for me! HA!

ONLY fat for another year

I was staring at my weight loss spreadsheet, as I often do, when it struck me. At the most (fingers crossed), I'll only be fat for another YEAR! Think about it for a second - I've been fat since, well, probably freshman year of college. So 2010 minus 1993, oh about 17 years.

And to think, I only have one more year of being fat!

It puts this whole weight loss journey into perspective for me. Instead of feeling like it's taking so long, flipping it around like that makes it feel like it's going so much quicker. Only another year! 365 days. That's really not so bad.

Not much else going on. I think we are going to hit a local splash pad this afternoon. It's still in the low 90s here. While I sometimes long for cooler temps, I am also enjoying still being able to use our pool and do things like go to the splash pad. We were actually going to head to the beach today, but stupid hurricanes kinda messed that up. However, the splash pad is closer and the kids will enjoy it just as much, so Plan B ain't so bad.

Also gotta hit the grocery store - we are out of milk, juice, bread, and bananas. Not good when you have two toddlers in the house! And I really should get in my third run for the week yet today. Guess it's going to be a busy one after all, so I guess I should say TOODLES!

Thousand Word Thursday Topic & A New Decade

Hey! Sorry I didn't get this up sooner, but I took the kids to the zoo with friends today. We're tired and exhausted, but we had fun. And thanks to dehydration, or maybe my hard work this week, I'm into a new decade, a decade I've really been looking forward to - the 250s!

I know it's still a big number and what-not, but to me, it's a number that's not so embarrassing to admit to people. It's a number that no longer eliminates me from weight-based activities. It's a number that seems closer to 200 than 300 (even though it's technically not). You know? It's still overweight, but it's normalish-overweight.

Oh, and 115 lbs lost! Oh yeah. I rock.

Now, for the moment you've been waiting for, the new TWT topic:

A decoration in your home that is very meaningful to you - a family heirloom, a gift from your BFF, etc.

Show (with a pic) and tell (describe it) us all about it tomorrow!

What could you accomplish in 100 days?

In just a few short weeks, it'll be 100 days until the new year. September 24 is 100 days from 1/1/11...

What could you accomplish in those 100 days?

What do you want to do before 1/1/11?

I challenge you to come up with a challenge. We can do a group challenge (I'm happy to coordinate it), individual challenges, whatever trips your trigger. It could be weight-loss related, fitness-related, organizing-our-lives-related.

100 push-ups.

100 items donated.

100 miles run/walked/jogged.

100 lbs lost. Don't I wish!

Can we come up with something good? Put on your thinking cap...I'm ready to hear your ideas!