HELLLLLLLLO!

Hi! Thanks, Trisha, for encouraging me to post. It's not that I don't love you guys, but honestly? I'm loving life right now, and most hours of most days are full. It was a lot easier to post when I worked, as I had eight hours to waste. ;)

Now my days are full of working from home a few hours each day, taking the kids somewhere daily, cleaning the house, and being Suzy Homemaker. I actually am enjoying it. I feel like we've finally got a schedule established, which is so good for me, as while I don't like being disciplined, I thrive with discipline. Isn't that how it always is?

So, what's going on? Stephanie (I dream of high heels) is so sweet. She came all the way to my house this weekend, just to bring me a swag bag from BOOBS. Isn't she awesome?! I am going to try my darnedest to be there next year, but with two kids who need tending to and a husband who doesn't have enough time off work to tend to said kids and with no one else to really watch them, that time of year is just really hard for me. Not to mention, my BFF lives in Milwaukee, and another dear friend lives in Chicago, so no way could I head to their neck of the woods without making a few days for each of them. Which means a long weekend turns into at least a week trip. And said kiddos still need tending to! Anyhow, I digress, I am going to see what I can do to be there next year!

I have another hiatal hernia. I have had some heartburn, but I figured it was all band-related. Nope.

I started running. Yet again. Who's all doing the princess half? I might, might, might be in. We'll see. I'm actually enjoying running this time, which has never really happened before.

I'm down to 187.6 lbs! .4 more lbs and I'll have lost half of myself. That's a great reason to do another half, huh?!

I took measurements today, and since the beginning, I have lost 139.25" total:

3.25" - neck
15" - bust
16" - waist
18.5" - lower belly
17.75" - hips
6" - each arm
13" - each thigh
9.5" - each knee (crazy, huh?!)
6" - each calf

I think that's about it from my boring yet enjoyable life...Later!

541 days ago, I took my life back.

18 months + 1 day ago, I was banded. I could go on and on about how it was one of the best decisions I've ever made, but you know what? We all know that. How about I let the numbers and pictures speak for themselves?

133 lbs lost

111.75" lost

20 BMI points lost

Body shot comparisons - click on the pic for full-size version

 Facial Comparison - again, click for full-size.

 And my fav!

the above shots super-imposed, so you can see how much narrower my shoulders are!

10 month bandiversary

10 months = 122.2 lbs and 109.75" gone. Yes, I am happy!

Here's the update on the unfill situation.

I ended up going to the ER Thursday night. I was feeling very lousy and just wanted it done and over with. I called before I went, and they assured me the surgeon would do a small unfill. I asked the nurse before I checked in and she said he would as well. I asked the doc that saw me first, and he said the same thing.

Three people told me he would only do a small unfill.

I was so dehydrated, they admitted me overnight and when I saw the surgeon in the AM, he insisted on a complete unfill. I refused. I asked him if his office would guarantee they'd take me as a patient, and he said no. Well, then I wasn't risking a complete unfill with no guarantees of a surgeon who'd refill me. I was also exhausted (didn't sleep at all - they had me in a 'observation room' with 10 billion other people and refinishing of the floors going on right outside the open door).

Then they wanted me to sign AMA paperwork (leaving "against medical advice"). Well, I refused that as well (could affect insurance paying for my visit), so they finally found a doctor who released me. Sigh.

I came home and called Heidi's doc. They were willing to see me, but the bariatric coordinator (the person I'd be seeing) wasn't thrilled with how my restriction came on and was a bit concerned about a slipped band (even though I had x-rays a the hospital that showed that it is fine), and I could just tell was a little hesitant about doing a small unfill. I don't blame her at all. She suggested I have my original surgeon call the local surgeon to see if they'd take me as a patient. Well, I couldn't reach anyone at my surgeon's office (Fridays are fill days and are crazy), so after many tears and second-guessing (was really regretting not getting the complete unfill at the ER - even debated going back!), I finally made an appointment for Monday with Fill Centers USA. I really wanted to go see Heidi's doc, but I hadn't slept and the thought of driving 6 hours in that state was more than my exhausted mind and body could handle.

So, I am on clear liquids (self-imposed) until Monday. I did try some coffee with cream last night, and it went down OK, so if we are out and about today, I may try a latte with whole milk from Starbucks. I haven't PB'ed since Tuesday (Wed?).

I guess I just have to be the odd-ball. I was reading on LBT, and there were several cases of people like me - the more they lost, the tighter their band got! One woman had to get an unfill after every 20 lbs lost, until she was basically unfilled when she was at goal, and still had restriction. It wouldn't surprise me if this happened to me. It took me such a BIG amount to get restriction - it just seems like maybe this is the flip side of that.

I hope everyone is having a blast in Chicago! I am totally jealous of everyone having a great time while I am sucking down clear liquids. :)

I birthed a band!

My band has gestated to maturity! 9 months after first implanting this little sucker...

...gone are:

• 107 lbs
• 99.25"
• The fear of not ever being able to lose weight once and for all
• My self-consciousness over my size; I'm still fat, but I feel normal-fat instead of stand-out-fat now
• Swollen ankles and sore feet

...and here to stay are:

• Self-confidence
• Faith in myself
• A better attitude towards everything in my life
• More happiness

The band certainly hasn't solved all my problems, but it has made it easier to deal with them. I guess when you don't have to waste your energy dealing with the monkey of 200+ extra lbs on your back, it allows you to use that extra energy in more productive ways. And while the band hasn't solved all our financial worries, I have no doubt that when I go to job interviews, I'll be viewed in a more positive light and also carry myself with more confidence. So in that respect, I do believe the band will positively affect our financial future.

Having the courage to make the decision to get the band is one of the things I'm most proud of myself for. Not the losing with the band, not the work I've put in, but the courage to admit I had a problem that was bigger than I could tackle on my own. That's the hardest step, at least it was for me.

Have I been a perfect bandster? No. Will I be a perfect bandster in the future? Nope. However, I do 90% of it right, and 90% is usually a passing grade anywhere you go. I don't drink with meals or for 30 min afterwards, I don't drink soda, I focus on protein (when my stupid band isn't being fickle and tightening out of nowhere), I workout, and I eat 3 meals plus 1 (occasionally 2) small snack per day. What don't I do "right"? I drink calories (lattes, coffee creamer, gatorade, watered-down juice), I eat chocolate and cheese and all my other high-cal favs, and I don't count calories.

I've been thinking a lot about my cross roads post, where I talked about buckling down to lose faster or continuing my 90% approach and losing a little more slowly. I finally realized (with the help of my mom) that when I buckle down and go balls-to-the-wall with anything, especially dieting, I burn myself out and have a swing-back that typically counteracts any progress I've made. I've done it 100s of times. In fact, I think it was this approach that helped me to 'diet' my way to nearly 400 lbs. So, with that in mind, I'm going to keep on this path I'm on, of being happy with 2 lbs/week and no obsessing, and see where it takes me. I reserve the right to change my mind in the future, but I'm enjoying this journey, and if I take the enjoyment out, I see trouble brewing. And why cause trouble when there is none?

If my 90% effort gets me 90% results, you know, I might just be okay with that. 180 lbs gone certainly wouldn't upset me!

And with that, I will talk to you all later, maybe even post some progress pics if I actually take a shower today. LOL. If I'm a bit absent these next few days, it's because my mom is in town for a quick visit. Smooches!

Inches and ports and gyms, oh my!

Today is my first official day as a SAHM. So far, we've been to a chaotic and crazy story time; I was hoping to maybe meet another mom or two, but everyone shied far away from the crazy lady who was sweating up a storm and chasing her 14-month all around while he shrieked like a pterodactyl.

DD and I just went for a quick swim while said pterodactyl is sleeping. I think we're going to hit the farmer's market later this afternoon. Ahhh, this is the life!

So, onto my post title...

Inches
I measured again the other night, and I've lost a grand total of 80.5"! Here's a quick rundown:

Neck -2.5"
Bust -6"
Waist -9"
Lower Tummy -9.5"
Hips -9"
Thighs -8" right, -9" left
Knees -5.75" right, -7.75" left
Calves -4.75" right, -2" left
Arms -3.5" right, -4" left

Ports
There's no delicate way to put this, so I'll just say it: Damn, certain positions are not port-friendly. That was a first!

Gyms
Where we now live is great except for the fact that there are no gyms in the immediate area with childcare. I'm going to check out two tomorrow or Friday - one is actually at the hospital where I am hoping to become a lapband patient and the other is a YMCA. They are a bit pricey, but I need to start working out, and with DH's crazy hours and two toddlers, a gym with childcare is about my only option. Not to mention, it'll give me a break from my lovely-but-energetic children during the day! Wish me luck!

Life's a-changing

Sorry I've been MIA since all the supportive, heartfelt, wonderful comments you guys left me on my six-month bandiversary post. You guys are seriously the best. I have read each and every comment over and over (including yours, Cara, yes, I did see it!).

I forgot to write them down, and they're on the computer at home, but I did another set of measurements, and I've lost nearly 70" total! WOWZERS!

Life kind of exploded. Things reached a breaking point at work, where I had to make the decision to either quit a bit sooner than I wanted to or pretend I was going to take the leadership of a HUGE project to only quit days later. I opted for the former, because it's just not in me to make life more difficult for those I'm leaving behind.

So, I gave my notice on Tuesday. My last day is June 11. DH is looking at houses as we speak, and we're hoping he's going to find THE one for us (the company is renting something for us for a year). If all goes the way I want it to, we'll have a lease that starts around June 18. It's going to be crazy for a few weeks. AHHHHH!!!!

In the mean time, my weight is hovering 1 lb above my lowest, but I feel smaller in the past few days. It's so weird. My pants are definitely getting looser, and my waist fat on my back used to double over and touch itself and now it barely even dents in (if that makes any sense). I just feel lighter on my feet. I hope that means one morning soon, I am going to jump on the scale, and it's going to be a few pounds less.

Toodles - work calls...10 more days!

My anaconda don't want none...

...unless you got buns, hon!

And oh, do I have the buns. I still have the buns. I'll always have the buns. But I'm ok with the buns. Anyhow...

I present to you my five-month measurements!

Neck -1"
Bust -4.5"
Waist -5.5"
Lower Belly -7"
Hips -5.5"
Left Arm -.5"
Right Arm -1.5"
Left Thigh -5"
Right Thigh -5.5"
Left Knee -3.5"
Right Knee -6.5"
Left Calf -.5"
Right Calf -3.75"

For a grand total of 50.25" gone... gone... gone... gone!

Holy Inches, Batman!

Rock on!

Took my measurements last night. For the record, I am measuring my neck, biceps, bust, waist, lower belly, hips, thighs, knees, and calves. Yes, I have fat knees. :)

I have lost 34.5" already!

This is probably more exciting than the weight lost at this point.