My 2011 motto is...

PUSHING BEYOND MYSELF

I am ready to push my limits, stretch my boundaries, create new healthy routines, and live the life I was meant to live. A life that was made much more possible because of weight loss surgery, but a life that does not revolve just around my weight loss. It's about giving back, dreaming big, nurturing relationships, and most of all, pushing beyond who I was.

I would consider 2010 my "staging year". I did a lot of work to position myself (and my family) to have a fantastic 2011. I am ready to discover who I really am and what I really love. I am ready to live a life that is authentic, that at times pushes my limits while other times leaving me feeling content, that makes me feel good about who I am and what I contribute to my family, friends, and the world.

I am challenging myself to accomplish 111 things in 2011. Some are small, some are BIG, some are mundane, some are necessary, some are fantastical, some are very personal (I'm not sharing with anyone IRL except you guys), and some are just plain boring. Each has a purpose, though, the purpose of pushing me beyond myself.

Without further adieu, here is my list of "111 Things to Accomplish in 2011":

Household

1. Go on 3 month-long spending hiatuses.
2. Make bed daily.
3. Scoop litter boxes daily.
4. Establish a house-cleaning routine.
5. Leave the kitchen clean nightly.
6. Brush the cats weekly.
7. Create 7 easy dinners.
8. Create 7 crockpot dinners.
9. Create 7 cheap dinners.
10. Create 7 meatless dinners.
11. Create 6 week-long dinner menus.
12. Try 12 new recipes.
13. Send my Christmas Cards by 12/1/11.
14. Declutter each room once.
15. Have 12 no-food-waste weeks.
16. Swap out kids' toys weekly.
17. Swap out kids' books weekly.

Projects

18. Make Elise's baby book.
19. Make Beckett's baby book.
20. Make 2009 family album.
21. Make 2010 family album.
22. Make 2011 family album.
23. Organize and back-up all photos.
24. Scan all photos.
25. Scan all mom's photos.
26. Organize and back-up all videos.
27. Upload all cd's to iTunes.
28. Scan Elise's artwork weekly.
29. Scan Beckett's artwork weekly.

Photography

30. Complete a Project 365.
31. Learn how to use off-camera flash.
32. Complete Besties project.
33. Do 12 portfolio building shoots.
34. Launch amycooperphotography.com.
35. Host 3 mini-sessions.

Health

36. Floss daily.
37. Run 365 miles.
38. Track my miles run.
39. Post 3x/week on babblesofabandster.
40. Eat 2 different veggies daily.
41. Eat 2 different fruits daily.
42. Brush Beckett's teeth 2x/day
43. Brush Elise's teeth 2x/day.
44. Drink 2 liters of water daily.
45. Prepare one meatless dinner per week.
46. Eat completely meatless one day per week.
47. Prep one cold vegetable salad weekly.
48. Take Juice+ daily.
49. Give Beckett Juice+ daily.
50. Give Elise Juice+ daily.
51. Ensure Elise eats 2 fruits daily.
52. Ensure Beckett eats 2 fruits daily.
53. Ensure Elise eats 2 veggies daily.
54. Ensure Beckett eats 2 veggies daily.
55. Have cut-up veggies in fridge at all times.
56. Have cut-up fruit in fridge at all times.
57. Get my moles checked twice.
58. See the dentist twice.
59. Get a complete physical.

Mental Health

60. Post 3x/week on amytoldyouso.
61. Read 52 books.
62. Read 13 non-fiction books.
63. Read 13 "classics".
64. Turn the tv and computer off simultaneously for one hour daily.
65. Establish a morning routine.
66. Respond to emails within 24 hours.
67. Respond to phone calls within 24 hours.
68. Go 3 days (individually) with no phone, internet, or tv.
69. Join a local women's social group.
70. Post 1x/week to wowthatsyummy.

Career

71. Apply for 20 jobs/week as necessary.
72. Write 3 grants for pay.
73. Find the right job for me.

Giving Back

74. Find volunteer work.
75. Do 12 random acts of kindness.
76. Donate blood six times.
77. Join the bone marrow registry.

Relationships

78. Send 24 cards to friends & family.
79. Implement "Xtreme Niceness" week once/month.
80. Have cuddle night with Travis 1x/week.
81. Write 24 love notes to Travis.
82. Plan a surprise weekend away for Travis and me.
83. Have 12 date nights with Travis.
84. Write to 6 friends and tell them how much they mean to me.
85. Surprise Travis at work with homemade peanut butter cookies.
86. Write my mom a letter telling her how much she means to me.
87. Contact Ben 1x/week.
88. Celebrate our five-year anniversary meaningfully.

Family

89. Start Daddy & Daughter time.
90. Start Mommy & Daughter time.
91. Start Mommy & Son time.
92. Start Daddy & Son time.
93. Start a Family Fun Night tradition.
94. Walk 3x/week in the evenings with the kids.
95. Teach Beckett to swim underwater.
96. Read 3 books to Elise daily.
97. Read 3 books to Beckett daily.
98. Take kids to the library weekly.
99. Teach Elise to read.
100. Do a family photo shoot.

Dream BIG!

101. Lose 50 lbs in the first 111 days of 2011.
102. Exercise every day of January.
103. Complete a half-marathon.
104. Apply for Wheel of Fortune.
105. See the Packers play.
106. Fire a gun.
107. Run a 7-minute mile.
108. Get a tattoo in honor of the kids.
109. Do a pull-up.
110. Get hypnotized.
111. Hit my goal weight!

2010 in Review

It's the last day of 2010. They were the best of times, they were the worst of times...OK, not really. 2010 was actually a BIG year for me. Losing weight, moving, becoming a SAHM. I feel like I made a lot of positive changes and am positioned for 2011 to be my best year yet. To review, my motto for 2010 was:

LESS is MORE.
Less stuff, less debt, less weight, less stress, less waste.

Less Stuff 
Goal: I hate clutter. And we don't have much clutter, especially since 2009 was the Year of the Family for us (I dubbed it that) and I got rid of tons of clutter. But with the kids' toys and my photography stuff, it's getting to be a bit much. I am ready to get down to basics and get rid of everything but the bare necessities.

Update: I think this will always be a battle, but we got rid of 90% of our stuff when we moved. I'm working on paring down the kids' toys and getting back to basics. But overall, I did really well on this.
Grade: A

Less Debt 
Goal: We did a great job in 2009 of paying off debt. We're down to a personal family loan, DH's car, and DH's school loan. They're pretty large, so we won't be able to pay them off in 2010, but I intend to make a good dent in them while also saving a nice chunk of change.
Update: We've continually paid on our debt without taking on any new debt. While I wish it was gone, I knew it wouldn't be completely gone by the end of 2010. Not taking on new debt is HUGE for us, though, so I call this one a success.
Grade: A

Less Weight
Goal: I started 2010 at 335ish. I will be under 250 (hopefully by quite a bit!) by the first day of 2011.
Update: I stalled out for the last 3 months, but I am right at 250. Not under by quite a bit, but I did lose 85 lbs this year!
Grade: B+

Less Stress
Goal: DH and I have some big changes heading our way, and if all goes well, a HUGE part of our stress is about to be alleviated. For fear of jinxing ourselves, I won't go into detail yet, but I will soon.
Update: HAHA! When I wrote this, our move was still totally up in the air. But it came through and we are here, and yes, a huge amount of our stress has been alleviated! I need to find a job, which is stressing me a tad bit, but I've worked hard this year to establish routines that destress our lives. It's a work in progress.
Grade: B+

Less Waste
Goal: I really want to make this year about wasting less which will help with the less stuff and less debt parts of my motto. No wasted food, no wasted money, no buying unnecessary stuff, no impulse shopping (grocery or otherwise). We are also going to work on being greener - fewer one-use items and so on.
Update: I have been really working on this. Reusing leftovers, freezing them before they go bad, using reusable shopping bags, consolidating errands, etc. And now that I am a SAHM, we don't have the extra money for any impulse shopping, so no worries there. I got a bit lacksadaisical with it the past few months, so time to tighten up a bit as we head into the new year.
Grade: B

Overall

I think I get an A- for 2010. I accomplished a lot of my goals and made significant progress towards those I did not accomplish. For the first time in a long time, I feel peaceful with the year that has gone and hopeful about the one to come.

Need a lighter

I need someone to light my fire. I am just kinda coasting along. I'm not gaining, which is HUGE, but I'm not losing either. And I still have 70ish lbs to lose.

I am hoping some time with my fellow bandsters this weekend will help. As will the half-marathon that's in less than two months. As will the new year.

I'm putting together a list of 111 things I want to accomplish in 2011. Some are small (make my bed daily), some are big (find my dream job), and some are in-between (read 13 classics). The one that is most important to me, however, is hitting my goal weight. I CAN do it. I just need to find that fire again.

Coasting was fine. I really am okay with it. But the time for coasting is over. I'm going back to work sooner than later. I had a couple of months to enjoy not being hyper-vigilant. But the time has come for me to get back on the horse and ride it to the finish line.

What really motivated me was watching "I Used To Be Fat" on MTV last night. Gabrielle was 17 and had 111 days before heading off for college. She lost 90 lbs in those 111 days with lots of hard work. She was also finishing up high school and working. I can certainly lose 50 lbs in 111 days if all I have to do is take care of two kids, right? She looked AMAZING.

So, come on, ladies, LIGHT MY FIRE!

ETA: I decided it was unethical to write this post and not DO something, so I just returned from a 2 mile jog while pushing the kiddos in the stroller. Trying to get that bonfire going, Sandy Lee!

Not much to say.

Huh. This doesn't happen to me very often, but I don't have much to say! I feel like I'm going a million miles per hour and getting no where very quickly. The stupid flu really pushed me behind where I wanted to be right now - Christmas shopping is done, but my baking isn't even started. Christmas cards are here, but I am not happy with the quality. And needless to say, they aren't sent yet. I haven't started my half-marathon training, as I cough violently when I move too quickly. Oh, speaking of coughing, DD has been really coughing a lot from the flu. Today, she was playing in her room and coughed so hard, she vomited all over her comforter and in a laundry basket with three loads of clean clothes I was about to put away in her room.

So, hey, I guess I am just full of good cheer and fun, huh?

On the band front, my band is freakin' tight again. I'm not sure if it's the flu and it's after-effects, or if it's just tightening up again. I PB'ed on stupid italian wedding soup today. Good ole' liquids for the rest of the day. I'll give it until I'm not longer phlegmy and coughing, and if it doesn't let up, I guess it's time for another unfill.

What else? Nothing really, so I guess I'll go see what you've all been up to.

Type A

Oh, how I wish I were talking about my personality. Instead I am talking about the flu. Yep, we were struck with influenza type A. It's been awful. Just awful. Two weeks of sickness. I'm not sure what the worst part has been - two sick toddlers or my band HATING the phlegm. I finally have given into liquids for a few days, as I was PB'ing everything I ate.

So, I'm sorry for disappearing once again. It was completely not intentional. Believe me, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!

A day late, but not a dollar short - A year in review

Hope you'll all forgive me for missing my bandiversary yesterday. With it falling on Thanksgiving, you know, I was busy stuffing my face full of food. Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to admit that? Ha!

So, what is there to say about this past year that I haven't already said? Not much. I feel like I've shared nearly every thought and experience I've had with my band over the last year with you guys. It's certainly been a roller coaster, thankfully with more ups than downs, but a wild ride nonetheless. I'm having a terrible time composing my thoughts about where I am and where I've been, so how about a few top ten lists to help me sort out my thoughts?

Top 10 Ups Since Being Banded

10. This lovely community, especially the sisterhood without which I'd be either naked or broke.
9. Signing up for a half-marathon. While the training hasn't started in earnest, I am actually looking forward to it. We'll see how I feel after my first 10-mile training session.
8. Lack of anxiety over flying. 'Nuff said.
7. Going down the slide at Animal Kingdom with my daughter before I realized I didn't even have to consider if I'd fit or not. Yeah, I cried that day.
6. Buying a size S/M sweater from Loft. LALALALA I can't hear you telling me it ran large LALALALALA All I know is it has an S on the tag.
5. Painting my own toenails and being able to breathe. I still get pretty giddy about that one.
4. Not freaking out when my BFF announced she was engaged, panicking over finding a dress that wouldn't look like a tent on me. Or looking like a whale next to her since she's a stick.
3. After-hours extracurriculars with DH. I don't think you want or need any more details.
2. Accepting that I can actually lose every single pound of excess weight.
1. LIVING instead of obsessing about food. The freedom I feel is indescribable.

Top 10 Downs Since Being Banded

10. PB'ing. I still hate it. I don't urp up like some - I ralph up pretty forcibly every time.
9. My month or so of being uber-tight. That's a hell of a way to lose weight.
8. Moving and having to find new after-care. I never imagined how difficult that would be.
7. My feet are shrinking out of some of my favorite shoes!
6. Batwings and elephant thighs. I'm learning to accept them, but it doesn't mean I have to like them.
5. Still being fat after losing 125 lbs. I know I've come miles, but I still have a mile or two left to go, and it sometimes really gets to me that I let it go as far as it did.
4. Realizing how poorly I was treated by society when I was fat. I never thought I was, but now I am realizing it was worse than I accepted.
3. Waiting for my head to catch up with my body. This is such a mental game, and to be honest, it's exhausting quite often.
2. My two or so months of depression. I was totally unprepared for the emotions, even though I thought I was prepared to deal with the changes.
1. Realizing I should have done this when my mom first brought it up years ago. I was too stubborn and proud to even consider it.

Top 10 Reasons I Will Lose the Rest & Keep It All Off

10. This lovely community - your support is amazing.
9. I still love food, but I don't LOVE food anymore, if that makes sense.
8. I'm no longer too proud or stubborn to admit when a problem is bigger than me.
7. Going back is simply not an option.
6. My kids deserve this mom, not their old mom. Hubby, too, even if he drives me nuts 90% of the time.
5. I can live with a too-tight band if I have to. Not fun, but I can do it if need be to get back on track or what not.
4. I will NOT add to the stereotype/statistics of "the band isn't as good as bypass/other wls". I am too competitive.
3. My 40s are going to be the best decade of my life (yet), so I have a few more years to perfect this body before I take on the 40s and show them what I'm made of!
2. I owe it to myself and my creator/the universe to make the most of this body. That's more spiritual than I normally get, but I really feel it lately.
1. I'm HOT when I'm skinny!


Finally, a bandiversary post wouldn't be worth anything without a few then and now pics. Alas, I present my befores and afters - 125 lbs less of me AKA 1/3 less of me AKA I've worked my ass off this year and am damn proud of where I am!

October 2009 - 374 lbs

November 2010 - 249 lbs

November 15, 2009 - DD's 2nd birthday

November 15, 2010 - DD's 3rd birthday

November 2010 - feeling like I can do silly things in public and not be "that fat girl"

Quietly sneaking in the back door...

I feel like I am trying to sneak in past curfew without waking my parents up...

Assuming you'll all take me back, thank you for letting me take a break. I desperately needed it. My head feels back on straight. I'm no longer feeling down. I'm happy and me again. I don't know exactly what it is that happened, but a break from thinking about my band 24/7 and focusing on the rest of my life certainly helped. I will say that it's been so nice just 'living'.

Here's a run down of what's been going on the last 5 or so weeks:

• 5 rounds of company for 17 days straight. We finally got our house back yesterday.
• DD turned 3!
• I lost 1 lb.
• My restriction is coming back from my unfill. I just tried to eat chips - um, not so much.
• My BFF got engaged. She's getting married in Paso Roblos next March, so it gives me something to aim for once again.
• I forgot where the gym is! Better get in gear considering my first half-marathon is 3 months away.
• I've inched towards my 1-year bandiversary, which is tomorrow! Stay tuned...

Gotta go check out what you guys have been up to. I can't promise to not disappear again, but I can promise to only do it if absolutely necessary.

And in the mean time, check these out - I'm welcoming myself back by sharing a few new pics of the kids I took this weekend...