Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Shameless self-promotion - it's my birthday! WOOHOO!

I am the big 3-5 today. 35. I wonder when I am going to feel grown-up and mature. I'm still waiting. I still laugh at jokes written for 12-year old boys, I still turn to my mom for advice on everything, and I still wonder who the heck decided I could raise two kids.

Anyhow, my band seems to be giving me a bit of a birthday present this morning - I am feeling tiiiiiiight. What the heck is this? I am kinda hungry, but I have that tight in the lower esophagus feeling going on. The lump in the throat feeling. I'm not even really wanting to drink. Could it be delayed-onset-restriction? (OH, I think I just coined a new bandster term - DOR!) I seem to be tight(er) in the AMs and then can eat way more than I should in the PMs. From all my reading, it sounds like I am close to my sweet spot - just not quite there yet, which makes me uber-excited for my fill in 12 days!

Let's see. My boss is taking me out to lunch (mexican) and my lovely husband is taking me out to dinner (seafood). Other than that, I am busy busy busy at work today. Lovely. Last year we had a snowday on my birthday, and I was really hoping for the same thing today! No such luck.

My conclusion on being fat and fit

I have come to a conclusion based on the Science of Amyology. What? You've never heard of it? I promise, it's based on some very sound scientific principles. Cross my heart.

So, anyhoo, I've been thinking about the print outs I get at the doctor's office when I get weighed in. Oh, hey, I never looked at the one last time. I'll have to go dig it out later and compare between my last two visits. Anyhow, I digress...

It said that my fat-free mass was 155 lbs, which means my muscles and organs and all the good stuff - basically everything but my fat - weigh 155 lbs.

And my goal weight is 173 lbs (24.9 BMI). If I maintained the same level of muscle I have now when I get to that weight, I'd only have 18 lbs of fat on me, which would be about 10% fat!

I know that ain't happenin'.

However, moreso than that, applying the very sound Amyology scientific principles, I have discovered that I really am kinda fit and fat. Heck, I have 155 lbs of solid muscle (and organ and what-not) under all these layers of fat!

Which kind of leads to my next point. Obviously, I am not too out of shape, as I haul around 300+ lbs every day. I'd like to see some of the skinny minis I come across every day do that!

So, there you have it. One of the first conclusions from Amyology. You really can be fit and fat!

(PS - I know I am not really fit, but it makes me feel better to think about how if I can just maintain most of my muscle as I lose the fat, I'll be in pretty good shape!)

The scale is not my friend.

I was so hopeful this morning. I've eaten really well since my fill last Friday. Doing what I'm supposed to (other than exercise, but I'm not supposed to until I get these mole stitches out today) and being a model bandster. On Monday, I was .8 lbs from my lowest point.

And today was supposed to be my lowest yet.

But it's UP. Up. Up. Up. Stooooopid scale. I'm now 1.6 lbs from my lowest.

Ok, I guess I'm over it, it'll come off eventually blah-blah-cakes. But the scale still got a small kick this morning. Just a little one, because I do want it to be nice to me next week.

So, my goal until my next fill, which is in 13 days, is to get back to my lowest. That's it. I need to focus on maintaining right now. A loss is just a bonus.

Enough whining - how about a few NSVs instead?

Well, this one is kind of a SV, but it's kind of an NSV as well. As much as I'm frustrated with not losing this past month (I weighed my lowest on 12.23), I've also maintained for all intents and purposes (I don't consider 1.6 lbs up a gain right now.) I've never, ever, ever done this. I'm either flying up in weight or crawling down. But a month? At virtually the same weight? SCORE for me!

My other NSV reminds me of Cara's from a few weeks ago - the towel victory. Mine is about my shower wrap. It's a size 22/24, which I haven't been for a few years. It gaps HORRIBLY in the front around my butt/thighs, but still hooks at the top, so I continue to use it. I looked in the mirror today and realized the 4" gap is gone! It actually overlaps on itself. Go me!

Off to a staff meeting, but will check in later.

Close but no cigar

Where in the heck did that saying come from? I have no idea!

Anyhow, I think I'm close but no cigar on the restriction front. (Are you guys tired of hearing about this yet? I feel like a broken record!) I did well with lunch yesterday - no need for snacks to get me to dinner, which was good considering how light my lunch was. And my mid-afternoon cup of coffee seemed to kind of sit on top of my food.

But then I was able to eat more than I should have for dinner, and it had noodles and a piece of banana bread (I had book club at Bob Evans - not my choice of restaurants at all.) And while I was satisfied, I certainly wasn't full.

This morning, I feel a bit tight. I just drank 20 oz of water and a cup of coffee and am about to eat my breakfast, so we'll see how it goes down.

Despite the fact that I'm not quite there yet, I'm feeling very positive that my next fill will bring me really, really close, if not to my sweet spot. I CAN do this! I will do this! I'm so anxious to step on the scale tomorrow for my official weekly weigh-in - I am so hopeful that it'll report my lowest number yet. Fingers crossed!

Could it be?

Could this be the beginning of restriction?

I had lunch about two hours ago - stir-fried veggies and an artificial crab leg thingie. Maybe 3/4 cup of veggies and one crab stick. (I made tilapia but didn't like it; fortunately, DD did and ate the whole thing!) I ate until the edge of hunger was gone. Definitely not to full, but not leaving myself starving either.

I'm feeling oddly full but hungry at the same time right now. It's the same as immediately post-op - the bottom of my tummy feels grumbly, but the top feels a bit bloated.

I'm going to guess this means I am very close to my sweet spot and my fill in two weeks should be IT.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!

Back on the BAND wagon

Let's just be honest and get it out of the way. I weighed myself this morning...I was expecting ugly. Well, not super ugly as I've been on liquids/mushies for 3 days, but I wasn't expecting anything even bordering on pretty. I did a happy dance though when the scale reported I was only .8 lbs up from my lowest. That's all I needed to hear to stay on the BAND wagon. Even though I thought I was not doing what I was supposed to be doing, something's working, and if I would just work a little harder, it would work even better. If you followed that! So, I am back committed to eating the way I am supposed to, restriction or not.

I am still not sure where my restriction stands. I do feel a bit of a lump in my throat when I eat, but I don't get a full feeling nor am I staying full longer. I did, however, only have mushies for breakfast this morning, just because it's what I had in the house (egg salad and a piece of string cheese.) I'll try eating some solid protein and veggies for lunch and see how it goes. Never fear, though, because I have my next fill scheduled for two weeks from Tuesday. I am determined to stay on top of this and keep the ball rolling right down the hill!

I had a moment of regret over the band this weekend. I watched a special on Discovery Health (I think - it was dvr'ed) about Gil Gerard who had mini gastric bypass. (PS - I had NO idea who he was before this special, but it was interesting nonetheless.) He lost 54 lbs by month two (oh, hey, today is my two month bandiversary!), and I've lost 39 lbs in the same time frame. And we started with virtually the same amount of weight to lose. As I watched, I started second-guessing myself. Why didn't I just do GB?

And then I realized, as great as this special was (I definitely would recommend watching it - just because it does cast WLS in a positive light), it didn't focus at all on his new eating habits. They talked a lot about his physical changes, how much more active he is now, and so on. But it didn't talk at all about what he eats, how much he eats, what he can and cannot eat, and so on. So, from that perspective, they really left a lot out.

Once I got over my second-guessing, I realized that I did make the right decision for me. Especially when at the end of the special, they talked about how he was still about 40-50 lbs from where he wants to be and his weight loss has slowed/stalled. I certainly don't wish him any ill-will, but it definitely reminded me that every WLS has it's pros and cons, and quick weight loss is not a pro of lap-band surgery. BUT long-term tweaking is a pro, and I will absolutely use this tool for all its worth...

So, in the words of someone (who? I can't remember!)...I'm bbbbbbaaaaaaaaaccccccccckkkkkkkk!

PS - NSV Alert! DH drove my car last, and he always moves the seat up. Partially because his butt doesn't require the same amount of space as mine requires, and partially because his legs are about 3" shorter than mine. In the old days, if I tried to get in without moving the seat back, I'd get stuck between the seat and the wheel and give myself a few bruises. I'd also curse him a lot. Today, I got in the car without thinking about and realized I felt a little closer to the wheel than normal. But it took a second to register that it was because the seat was moved up! I hadn't boinked my head, bruised my knee, or anything else trying to get in. I just slid right in!

Happiest place on earth

We're going to the happiest place on earth! Disney!

OK, we're not going to Disney...

But we are moving to Orlando!

I'm so excited, this post is going to be full of exclamation points!!!!

DH accepted a job yesterday to be a warehouse/inventory manager for a company that's moving their warehouse from Youngstown, OH, to Orlando. In case I hadn't mentioned here, he was self-employed until August when he cancelled (bad situation) his last contract, and he hasn't hadwork since. And self-employed=no unemployment, so we've been on my salary since.

He's starting at their headquarters in Youngstown on Feb. 1. He'll be there Mon-Thur and come home to spend the weekends with us. This will go on for 1-2 months until they're ready for us to head down.

Thrilled doesn't even begin to describe this! DH's dad lives in Kissimmee (~30 min away), my parents have a winter place about two hours away near Jensen Beach (~2 hours away), and we have some friends in the area. And I KNOW I have several blogger friends who go to Disney regularly (hint, hint) and one or two of you may actually live in/near Orlando!

More later - the kids need breakfast and so do I. My first mushies - excited to see if I have restriction or not!