Has it really been more than a year? WHAT?!?!?!

More than a year? What is wrong with me???? It sure doesn't feel like a year. Seriously, what is wrong with me????

Anyone want to know what's been going on? Oh well, even if you don't, I want to share!

So, it's been about 18 months since I was sleeved. And it's been great. I absolutely love love love my sleeve. It treats me well, and in return, I treat it well. I eat around 1200-1500 calories per day and try to keep it to as many whole foods as possible. But I won't lie, I do still enjoy sweets and the occasional chip or three. Thankfully, though, my sleeve limits how much damage I can do.

For example, my menu today:

B: 16 oz. whole milk latte (made at home)

L: 1/2 homemade breakfast burrito with eggs, hashbrowns, cheese, and sausage, topped with salsa, sour cream, and avocado

S: watermelon and cocoa almonds, 8 oz. latte

D: other half of my lunch burrito

S: probably will have some strawberries, extra sharp cheddar, and crunchmaster crackers

I've also been really into running the past few months. I don't LOVE it, but I do love what it does for my weight loss and body. I finished a 10k a few weeks ago, and I even ran 6 miles yesterday "just for fun." I've also been going to a local aerial yoga studio - it is awesome! Here's a pic of DD and I doing it together:

So, 18 months out, I've lost 115 lbs with the sleeve. Combined with the 50 lbs I kept off from being banded, I'm down 165 lbs. I've gone from a 30W bottoms and 3X top to a 16 misses bottom and L top. I would still like to lose another 10-20 lbs, but at this point, it's not an all-consuming thought. It's just a "wouldn't it be cool to lose a little more?" thought. I turn 40 next January, and it's so nice to think about heading into the next decade of my life at arguably the healthiest I've ever been. 

And when the going gets tough and I don't want to run or want to bury my head in a bag of chocolate, all I have to do is look at my before and 'during' and it reminds me that this is ALL soooooo worth it!

Thanks for stopping by! I intend to stop in again soon! Smooches!

Just checking in...

It's been just over 4 months since my revision to the sleeve, and I've lost 62 lbs (or 41% of my excess weight). I am over the moon happy about it!

My hunger is mostly gone. I can eat anything I want - absolutely nothing causes me issues. I eat around 1000 calories daily, and while I try to go heavy on the protein and eat reasonably for most meals, I don't at all feel like I am on a diet. It's so liberating.

No vomiting. No foaming. No being stuck. No pain. No ordering soup every time I go out to eat. No avoiding water. No problems whatsoever...

A new year, a new me

I was sleeved on November 9th. It was quite the ordeal, a hiatal hernia, and a very severe umbilical hernia that caused so much pain and issues that I was in the hospital for five days.

But I am sleeved. It's not been what I expected. I'm still hungry all the time. Unfortunately, the band caused so much damage that I have esophageal dilation, which my surgeon thinks is causing the hunger. The good news is I can't eat much, and I am working very hard on discipline, so I am down 46 lbs since my surgery (in 7.5 weeks).

In 2013, I hope to lose 100 lbs to hit my stretch goal, become a runner (once again), and blog weekly.

Hope all is well with everyone!

One-month band-free

It's been just over a month since my band came out. And it's just over two months now until my stomach comes out - yep, my sleeve is scheduled for Nov. 9, which is 9 weeks from tomorrow! I cannot wait. Just cannot wait.

Ironically, it's also two weeks shy of what would have been my 3-year bandiversary.

The weight gain continues, although it has thankfully slowed quite significantly. I don't even want to get on a scale - all I know is I have nothing that fits, and that's not much of an exaggeration. I can't gain any more weight, or I will be naked. Ha.

I'm surviving!

So, a quick update. My surgery was at 9:30 am and I was released to go home at 2 pm. Not too shabby! Still haven't had any pain meds, not even immediately after surgery in recovery. I honestly think it's helping me feel better, as pain meds just do a number on how I feel - very groggy, light-headed, tired, nauseated.

Ironically, one of my nurses has been banded for two years. She had a slip fixed about 6 months ago, and really wanted to revise to sleeve, but her insurance wouldn't cover it on a first slip. So now she's hoping for another slip so she can revise! Her daughter had the sleeve done three months ago and lost 80 lbs and is at goal. HOLY MOSES. I hope this will be me!

My band had pulled the fundus of my stomach (left part) through my diaphragm. I also had a fair amount of scar tissue that he removed. We're still looking at close to 4 months for revision, so maybe I can do it on or around what would have been my three-year bandiversary at the end of November.

One last thing - if anyone reading this is looking for a surgeon in the Orlando/Melbourne/Space Coast area, Dr. Domkowski at Riverside Surgical is amazing. The most caring surgeon I've ever met. Hands down. He is just so wonderful.

And the staff at Sebastian Medical Center blew me away. The anesthesiolgist was even nice and caring, which has never been my experience, and I have had five surgeries. Every single person touched my shoulder, assured me I'd be fine, and kept asking what they could get for me. Their care was top notch.

Band-less!

I'm out and doing fine. No pain meds at all! Mainly bc they make me sick. Lol more later...

Tomorrow I become the bandless babbler

Just a quick note that my surgery is on for tomorrow (Fri) at 9 am EDT. I'll let you guys know when I am on the other side and band-free. Please cross your fingers and toes that the damage is minimal!

I've stopped crying.

And now I'm just bitching!

OK, not really. I am MUCH better than I was 24 hours ago.

I saw Dr. D again this morning. There was some confusion, as I thought they had rescheduled my surgery for 8/24 (instead of 8/31). But it was really scheduled for SEVEN/24. Um, that's next Tuesday. And I no can do. I am in Milwaukee for work, flying with my son there on Sunday and both kids back the following Sunday. And throwing my BFF's baby shower while I am there. Just really not workable. The next available option he had was 8/17. which was 3.5 weeks later. That made me cry (#1 cry) - I had to choose between living with this thing inside me that could potentially ruin my stomach even more and mucking up my BFF's one and only baby shower and my kids' summer vacation plans.

Fortunately, Dr. D is the most AWESOME doctor on the face of the earth. He worked me in on 8/3, so I don't have to move heaven and earth, AND I can get it done sooner (#2 cry).

The bad news is my band is FUCKED UP! For real. If you've seen your band on film, you know it should look like a slash, '/'. Mine is a perfectly round, big, open, 'O', Yep, it has not only turned, but it has flipped and twisted. Which means my poor tummy is being drug up and through the O and then back down. Not good. He said he's seen worse though. I am thankful for once that my overachieving ways didn't have be in first place.

He can't believe I don't have any restriction based on the band's position, but I really don't. Oh, also, my band has ZERO fluid in it, even though it should have 9cc. Yep, it is a mess. I wonder if he'll give it to me as a souvenir!

Sooooo, dear friends, it's bad enough that I have to wait at least FOUR MONTHS between surgeries for my poor tummy to heal (#3 cry).

BUT because Dr. Dr is seriously the most awesome doctor ever, he reassured me that I am NOT to worry about weight gain. He wants me to focus solely on letting my tummy heal. He said he doesn't care if I lose 10 lbs or gain 50 lbs between now and my sleeve, he just wants to see me healed (#4 cry - it was an ugly, snorting, contorted, snotting cry). He said I will get it all off and then some with the sleeve. In fact, he insisted I will be sitting in his office a year from now asking for plastic surgeon referrals because I'll have lost so much weight (#5 cry). It seems impossible, but I know it is true. Whether I have the surgery now or in a few months, a year from now, it won't really make a difference.

There you have it - the latest and greatest from this battling bandster. I have finally stopped crying. I'm still not happy at the prospect of being restriction-free for an additional five months or so, but it is what it is. I didn't have restriction for about six months with the band, so I just need to get in that same head space and do what I need to do.

Thanks for listening and all the supportive comments. Our little blog sisterhood is truly the best!

If I can stop crying long enough...

I'd post about how I have another slip. Which means:

• TWO separate surgeries.
• MORE expenses.
• LONGER that I have to wait to get the sleeve which means that much longer I have to fight this stupid hunger.

I am meeting with the surgeon again tomorrow to iron out all the details. Right now, it looks like the band removal will be 8/24. Once he's in there and sees what kind of damage has been done, I'll have a timeline on the sleeve. Fingers crossed for sooner than later, obviously.

I'm quite upset. Quite. I cried through a conference call at work today. Fortunately, I didn't have to do much talking.

On another note, is anyone on MyFitnessPal? If so, let's be friends. Today is day two of low carb. I need LOTS of accountability!

Update on my naughty band

I finally, FINALLY had my appointment with Stephanie and Jacquie's surgeon today. First, he is AWESOME. I could cry - he listened, understood, and helped. Which is more than I can say for my last surgeon.

He reassured me I would lose this weight I had gained, that I had not failed the band rather the band had failed me, and that he still considers me a success, even with the weight gain and bummer band. I can't even tell you how much I've been beating myself up over this weight gain. I HATE it. I was SO in control, and now? Well, let's just say I haven't been full in six months, I constantly think/dream about food, and I have about four pairs of pants that fit.

We talked about the options:

• Fix/replace the band. As he said, and I would agree, I have been successful with the band. However, in light of my recent issues, the overall band complication rate, and my age (young-ish) combined with my original BMI (very high), I probably need something that is more permanent than the band. In addition, fixing/replacing the band is nearly as expensive as revising.
• Bypass. Great long-term success rates. Still the gold standard in WLS.
• Sleeve. He likes the sleeve because it has the same long-term success rates as bypass with less reliance on vitamins and supplements since it is not malabsorptive. 

Here's the plan of action:

• Upper GI today to determine if I have another slip. I will know the results tomorrow.
• If no slip (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE), then I will have the band removed and revise to sleeve in one surgery on August 31. This would be ideal, since I am self-pay and am not loaded.
• If I do have another slip, then the band has to come out first (mid-August). It would be another SIX FREAKING MONTHS until I can revise, so my stomach can heal. Ugh. For both my waist line and my wallet, this would be a bad option. Therefore, I CANNOT have another slip. It is just not an option.
• The surgeon who did the Upper GI said he did not see ANY restriction nor a slip, although the band is a little lower than he would expect. He was going to discuss with my surgeon, who is supposed to call me tomorrow. I am very hopeful that it is just a leaky band based on his findings and the band's behavior. Fingers, toes, everything is crossed!

The thing that has really sold me on the sleeve vs. bypass (since Amy W. asked) is that there are still revision options with the sleeve. You can still revise to bypass, which I obviously hope to not need, but I hoped that with the band as well. With bypass, you are pretty much at the end of the road, except for duodenal switch, which is a very involved, invasive surgery. I asked him, "If a perfect solution for obesity is discovered in 10 years, would you rather walk into it with a sleeve or bypass?" He answered sleeve, since your anatomy is less changed. And that was all I needed to know.

Please, if you are the crossing fingers, good thoughts, and/or praying type, can you do a little extra for me tonight? I really, really, really need to not have a slip! Thanks!

Do I even dare post?

Just wanted to say hi. I am here. I'm a working girl now, travelling from FL (home) to WI (work) every week. Between work and my stupid band slip and whatever, I just haven't been inspired to blog. I suck. I know I do. But I can't blog from work - yep, that's my excuse!

So, yep, I do suck. But hopefully, I'm still welcome here, just like at Cheers! You know, where everybody knows your name. And they're always glad you came! (Right?!?!)

On to other not-so-good-news. Post-slip, I was completely unfilled. Three fills later, I was t-h-i-s close to perfect restriction. Then....%^&*@#&*%^$ leak in the band. Yep, I went for one little fill and came out with NO restriction.

Seriously.

Why?

So, I am now strongly considering revising to the sleeve. If I have to go back under the knife, I'm not risking more band issues. While I've done well with the band and was really happy with it until my slip in January, I am self-pay, and if I am paying for another surgery, well, I just can't take more possible band issues.

But if I am no longer a bandster, I guess I'll have to change my blog name to...what the heck goes with Sleevester?

Although since I only post once every five months, I'm not sure anyone is even still reading! And I certainly am not a babbler.

Good news, bad news, good news...

I know, I'm a terrible blogger these days. I'm sorry.

So, things have been really crazy at home, and DH and I haven't even really had a chance to talk about things other than housework, child care, etc. Things are perhaps a bit better, and certainly not worse. I guess they are more in a holding pattern than anything.

Ready for some other updates?

GOOD NEWS: There are some changes brewing in our lives (yes, again) that are HUGE. HUGE HUGE HUGE. Really good changes. Please keep me in your thoughts as they will or won't pan out over the next few days. Fingers are so tightly crossed, I can barely type.

BAD NEWS: I have been sick since the day after Christmas. It all started with a really bad cough that was the worst at night. I barely slept for a few days, so I finally went to the doctor and got some meds. In the mean time, with all the coughing, mucus, and non-sleeping, I just couldn't eat. I was nauseous all the time and just generally not interested in food.

The cough was so bad that I vomited several times during that first week. Then the coughing/vomiting morphed into a really bad case of reflux at night. I would wake up choking on stomach acid. I couldn't even sleep with five pillows under my head. I finally ended up in the ER, because any time I attempted to eat or drink, I would get severe lower back pains. Like worse than labor or kidney stone pains. And I had unrelenting nausea. Bloodwork, rectal exam (so fun), CT scan, and urinalysis later, it was determined that I was just severely dehydrated and malnourished. Their solution was to send me home with instructions to eat and drink. Ha, eating or drinking caused pain. I no likey pain. So I no eatey or drinky.

Obviously, that's no way to live, so I made yet another appointment with my MD. Now, if you are smarter than me, or perhaps an MD, you've probably already suspected a band issue. I did not. Partly because the ER's CT scan said my "gastric band is in place." Partly because I didn't want it to be true. Partly because I would never connect lower back pain with a band in my upper front.

A few phone calls to a bariatric surgeon and an x-ray later, it was determined my band has slipped.

Sigh.

Unfortunately, now it's Friday at 4 pm, so my options are to be admitted to the hospital for the weekend or to tough it out at home. I opted to go home. Between Friday at 4 pm and my appointment with my new bariatric surgeon on Monday at 11 am, I ate nothing and drank less than 4 ounces. Again, me no likey pain.

The surgeon took one look at my x-ray and unfilled me completely. I had almost immediate relief. I've been able to eat and drink. I have an upper GI tomorrow, and another visit with him later this week. He's very hopeful it'll go back, but of course, I'm still nervous, especially since I am self-pay. It's one thing to pay to get a band, it's an entirely other to pay to take it out. That would suck. But he said he's fairly confident it'll go back to where it should be.

Thankfully, Angela kept me grounded and didn't let me jump off the ledge, even though I was about to!

I'll take any good vibes you have and keep you posted.

GOOD NEWS: I lost a bunch of weight, thanks to not eating. And even with eating and drinking yesterday, the scale was down again this morning. 176.2 lbs! HOLY CRAP!!!! I am within 4 lbs of my goal weight. AMAZING. I am in disbelief. I have lost 198.2 lbs, if I am doing the math right.

And there it is...

I never thought it would be me, but lo and behold, my husband is blaming my surgery and subsequent weight loss for my 'attitude problem.'

Le sigh.

Le sigh.

Le sigh.

I admit, we are having some rocky moments (ok, hours and/or days) lately. And maybe my attitude has changed - I don't want to sit around anymore, I want to get stuff done, I want to be active. I am bored watching tv. I'm bored with naps. So yes, my attitude has changed. But what am I supposed to do?

I want more out of life. I am no longer content to watch it pass before me. I go-go-go now, and it is physically painful for me to not go-go-go. I ran 2.5 miles this morning, watched my friends kids, took the kids to DD's ballet class, went grocery shopping, ordered three photo sessions worth of photos, cleaned two bathrooms, did a few loads of laundry, made dinner, cleaned up, and did a few other random things. And I am not exhausted.

So, what is fair? I don't expect him to have the energy I have now, but by the same token, I don't want to sit around. We are having a hard time finding the balance between what I want and what he wants.

I'm not really looking for answers (although if you have some, toss them my way). I'm more just throwing it out to the universe, hoping some solutions will come to me. We're going to try counseling; we need someone to help us navigate this new part of our relationship. We love each other deeply, but I'm not the same person he married, and I don't want to be that person again. We need to figure out how to allow me to be the new me while still being the person he married. And we also need to figure out how I balance my new interests with what his interests continue to be.

I never in a million years thought we'd be the ones in this position. He supports and appreciates my weight loss. But he's not sure how to manage this new person! And honestly, I am not sure I know how to either. We'll figure it out, though, together. At least, I hope...

On other random notes:

• I ran my fastest mile yet this morning - 12:15. GO ME!
• I tried on a ring-sizer. My wedding ring is a 8.25. My new size is 6. Um, yeah, that's why I can't wear it without fear of losing it!
• Running is finally paying off after 8 weeks. I am toning up like crazy. Pants that fit two weeks ago are getting loose. I LOVE IT!
• I'm thinner now than when I started college. Craziness!

So incredibly thankful on my two-year bandiversary

How could I not be thankful? I look 100x better, I feel 100x better, and I'm exactly 190 lbs lighter!

This has been an incredible journey full of lots of successes and my share of frustrations, but I think I'm most excited about the emotional and mental journey that's accompanied the weight loss. I really am a different person  inside my head and not just on the outside of my body.

I can think more clearly about emotional issues now that I am not weighed down by my weight. I don't react nearly as emotionally - nor immaturely - to negative situations. I am much better at seeing people for who they are, and how they treat me, now that I don't have to wonder if my weight is the reason I am being treated poorly. I am much more able to let things go now instead of holding resentments and grudges. I am getting much better at truly living "Live and let live" because I no longer feel the need to control everyone around me due to the lack of control with my weight. I feel my feelings because they are not buried beneath a ton of weight or being pushed down by endless amounts of food.

Add in all the obvious physical changes, and I gotta say, it's pretty cool to be me now!

For those just starting out, or perhaps struggling a bit, I just encourage you to stick with it. I started out extremely slow, gained weight after surgery, took 6 fills to get restriction, hit a six-month plateau, and had so many other challenges, but here I am, two years later, 190 lbs lighter.

And of course, this post wouldn't be complete without some PHOTOS!

Two headshots superimposed - look how much narrower my shoulders are now!

Two years ago two days ago

I meant to take a pic two days ago, but I forgot!

So, two years + two days ago, I looked like this:

10.25.09

And today, after I got back from a run, I look like this:

10.27.11

Thank you, lap-band! I totally puffy heart love you!

Suffering from Fat Girl Fear Syndrome

Seriously, I do still suffer from Fat Girl Fear Syndrome AKA FGFS. You know, the fear of sitting on a fragile looking chair, like a plastic deck chair. Or fitting on a carnival ride. Or the seat belt fitting when flying. Or being the largest person in the room. All those things you fear when you are as heavy as I was and don't want to draw attention to yourself or embarrass yourself.

I really thought I'd outgrow FGFS, but I haven't in a lot of ways. I still think twice about sitting on things. We had a town festival last weekend, and I was afraid to get on one of the rides with my kids.

It is just so strange how the mind works, because in other ways, I forget I was ever as heavy as I was. I plop down on the floor with my kids without a second thought. I tie my shoes without having to take a breath first. I run upstairs to grab somethning without having to work up the energy for 10 min first. Hmmm, maybe it's the day-to-day things that are easier to do without FGFS, which would totally make sense.

I wonder when I will get over FGFS. I don't want to have those fears any more, not even for a fleeting moment. Not that I will ever forget where I came from, nor will I ever not be sympathetic to the girl who is standing in the corner hoping no one notices her, but I want to fully appreciate this body and the life that I get to live in it.

I'm working on it. As much as this journey has seemed long, it's not even been two years yet, and really, it's only been about 3 months since I've been "normal" in terms of weight and BMI, so I can see why my mind isn't there yet.

Oh well, off to do something I no longer fear - RUNNING! Holy hell, I am loving it! Just don't tell Angela or she'll be signing me up for the Princess Half!

HELLLLLLLLO!

Hi! Thanks, Trisha, for encouraging me to post. It's not that I don't love you guys, but honestly? I'm loving life right now, and most hours of most days are full. It was a lot easier to post when I worked, as I had eight hours to waste. ;)

Now my days are full of working from home a few hours each day, taking the kids somewhere daily, cleaning the house, and being Suzy Homemaker. I actually am enjoying it. I feel like we've finally got a schedule established, which is so good for me, as while I don't like being disciplined, I thrive with discipline. Isn't that how it always is?

So, what's going on? Stephanie (I dream of high heels) is so sweet. She came all the way to my house this weekend, just to bring me a swag bag from BOOBS. Isn't she awesome?! I am going to try my darnedest to be there next year, but with two kids who need tending to and a husband who doesn't have enough time off work to tend to said kids and with no one else to really watch them, that time of year is just really hard for me. Not to mention, my BFF lives in Milwaukee, and another dear friend lives in Chicago, so no way could I head to their neck of the woods without making a few days for each of them. Which means a long weekend turns into at least a week trip. And said kiddos still need tending to! Anyhow, I digress, I am going to see what I can do to be there next year!

I have another hiatal hernia. I have had some heartburn, but I figured it was all band-related. Nope.

I started running. Yet again. Who's all doing the princess half? I might, might, might be in. We'll see. I'm actually enjoying running this time, which has never really happened before.

I'm down to 187.6 lbs! .4 more lbs and I'll have lost half of myself. That's a great reason to do another half, huh?!

I took measurements today, and since the beginning, I have lost 139.25" total:

3.25" - neck
15" - bust
16" - waist
18.5" - lower belly
17.75" - hips
6" - each arm
13" - each thigh
9.5" - each knee (crazy, huh?!)
6" - each calf

I think that's about it from my boring yet enjoyable life...Later!

It's happening to me, too.

I remember reading some blogs about people who were much further along in the band process than I was, and I would read their blogs and I would honestly think to myself, "Yep, she's full of shit. Totally lying."

And now, yep, it's happening to me, too. And I swear, I'm not full of shit!

I have NO idea what size I really am. I am not really content with my body where it's at. And I feel like I am in the twilight zone.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I AM happy where I am. I mean, I'd be a fool not to be happy at having lost 180 lbs. And you know, I do wear my floppy, saggy, baggy, elephant skin with a bit of pride.

However, there is that part of my brain that has been damaged by being fat for so long that is just not on board with the rest of my brain.

Problemo Numero Uno: I don't know what size I am.

I am not really in plus sizes any more. I am pretty solidly in size 16 on the bottom (some 18s) and L or XL on top. However, regular 16s are cut so differently than 16W. And I have a nice saggy belly now that regular 16s don't always accommodate. Some do. Some don't. I'm not used to that. Pants have always been too big in my waist to make up for my thunder thighs and booty. AND my boobs are shrinking. I'm not really complaining, but I do kinda miss the girls sometimes. I'm still filling out my DDDs, so I must have been much bigger than that previously. I look around, and I see other women's bodies, and I wonder if I look like them. I really have no concept of what I look like. I should take some pics I do realize. Sometimes I feel like I still have sooooo far to go. And other days, I feel like I am almost there. And that kind of leads to my second point...

Problemo Numero Zwei: I am not really content with my body.

I am saggy. Very, very saggy. Part of it is my fault for not working out as much as I should have. But a large part of it is just due to being so heavy for so long. In a sick twisted way, I sometimes miss my round, full belly. It may have been big, but it was soft in a Renaissance painting kind of way. Is that totally twisted? Now my belly looks like it has cross hatch marks on it. Don't believe me? Ask Stephanie - I showed her. And she didn't disagree. You know when someone kind of nods along with you that it's as bad as you think. Because it is. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm glad she didn't lie to me - Stephanie wouldn't! - but it confirms that it's not the most attractive look in the whole world.

And my thighs. They're horrific. If I have enough wine some night, I'll take pics and post. It's as bad as you can possibly imagine.

Sooooo....

I have 3 lbs to lose until my first goal (190 lbs), 13 lbs to my second goal (180 lbs) and 20 lbs to my aspirational goal (173 lbs and a BMI of 24.9). I can't even begin to imagine 3 or 13 or 20 lbs is going to solve these issues. Because they aren't. These issues are mainly in my head and in my inability to redefine myself as a "thin" or at least "thinner" person.

I think part of it is I see myself now as I thought I looked at 374 lbs. Does that make any sense?

It is just going to take time. And acceptance. The bottom line is I am NORMAL now. I wear a 16. Not generous 16s like I tell myself. Not select 16s like I sometimes tell myself. The other bottom line is I did a lot of permanent damage to my body. I am never going to have a bikini body.  But you know what? Bikini bodies are a dime a dozen. Bodies that have the history of significant weight loss are not. And I am going to strut this for-real-16-with-lots-of-saggy-skin body with pride, and that small part of my brain that is totally fucked up? It's just going to have to get over itself!

One last thing, I have shared my blog with a real-life friend for the first time. HI, D! She's in the process of going through her lap-band classes and hopes to have her surgery before the end of the year. How about a few shout-outs to her to start a blog?! Work your magic, BOOBS!

I can feel the love!

I really felt loved yesterday with all the supportive comments, so thank you!

I weigh less than my DL says I do!

My weight starts with a 1!

It's surreal.

I'm working really hard to get some house projects done this week, then a dear friend is in town next week, and finally the following week, I am going to get back to working out.

I've got my morning and afternoon routines down, I'm getting my regular work hours in, and I am finally just about ready to get serious about working out.

I'm going to try a gym in the area. It's the only one with childcare, so it's my only option. I would love to not join a gym, but I am not sure if that is feasible with two toddlers that don't nap, two toddlers who hate being in the stroller for more than 2.2 seconds, and a husband who works 10+ hours/day. We'll see - I've debated trying videos again when the kids are home, or going running right when the husband walks in the door. But these aren't really ideal. I have a friend who works out 3-4 days/week at the gym at 4 pm, which would actually be ideal for me. So, we'll see. The bottom line is I need to do whatever is going to work for me long-term.

I need to exercise. I need to exercise. I need to exercise.

There. I said it publicly, so now I must do it!

Ahem! Attention, attention, ATTENTION!