Day 28 of 28!

I've officially made it! I am on day 28 of the 28-day liquid diet. WOOHOO! I seriously can hardly believe it. Granted, I have to make it through today yet, but I am obviously not going to mess it up now.

It's amazing what 28 days of liquids will do to your thought process about food. Someone brought donuts in the other day, and I easily walked right past them. I am not craving sweets of any kind. I am craving solid protein and veggies - eggs, hamburger, peppers, broccoli, chicken, steak, fish. I am having serious fish cravings. I am so-so on fish, so this is surprising me! Oh, and cheese - can't wait to have some cheese. In fact, I think I'm going to run to a local farmer's market at lunch and buy a variety of cheeses for this week.

Yesterday, Elliana posted this great stuff (her stuff is always great and thought-provoking and makes me go, "Yeah, exactly" but this was especially great):

"Even though I never let my weight get in the way of my enjoying life, I realize now that in a subtle way, it did hinder my ability to enjoy those things I love the most. Changing my lifestyle to achieve a healthy weight is about more than just preventing future health problems like diabetes and heart disease, it's about living life to it's fullest. Embracing every opportunity to enjoy each day, undertake new challenges and find the peace within that brings the true joy in life. I am so grateful that I got to the point I did. As difficult as it was, it has made all the difference."

Exactly! As much as I am/was mad at myself for getting so far overweight, I don't know if I would have ever considered the band at a lower weight. Perhaps I needed to get this heavy to find a solution.

Is it Monday already?

We got our tree up!

Oh, how the weekend flew by. Partly because I had about three more things I wanted to accomplish last night, and neither kid would go to sleep and stay asleep. I ended up sleeping with the two-year old in my bed, and boy, I do not sleep when she is in there, so yawn...

I snuck a peek on the scale this morning, and let's just say I should not have done that. I'm up about 5 lbs, which I *knew* to expect, but I was certainly hoping I'd be one of the lucky ones to avoid it. I haven't been consuming more than 1200 calories daily this week, so I logically know it's not 'real' weight, but it's still annoying. Oh well, I am in this journey for the long run and 5 lbs is not going to make a bit of difference when I'm at goal in two years, right? Ok, letting it go, letting it go...

I am proud to say I am on day 27 of 28 of my liquid diet (includes two weeks of pre-op.) I just have to make it through the rest of today and tomorrow, and then I get to start mushies! Looking back, this has already been an incredible journey, and I can't wait to see how the rest of it goes. In some ways, this is more exciting than the weight I've dropped, as this is the part *I* can control. I stuck with it, gave it 100%, used every bit of my willpower some days, have already started the rethinking process regarding food, and am ready to start the next phase.

And how's this for one of those "rethinking" things about food? I just realized today that I can actually eat Christmas dinner. I'm so used to not eating, I really hadn't even thought about the fact that I do get to eat with the family that day. This has to be significant in some way.

Which leads me to my next thought. I was talking to my mom earlier, and she asked if I had thought at all about the foods I'd foregone these last four weeks. Unfortunately, I have. I can name several things that I had to pass on. And then I went on to tell her that I still think about a piece of peanut butter pie that I passed over at my sorority's national convention over 10 years ago. I couldn't begin to tell you my roommate's name that I roomed and spent 24/7 with for FIVE days, but I can still describe exactly what that pie looked like. Of course, I was dieting at the time and starving. Honestly, I can do this with about 15 times in my life - tell you what I did (or did not) eat, but not tell you other details of the event. I think this is definitely something to bring up in my next therapy appointment. Disordered thinking of the first degree.

The good news is I'm not at all sad about this, but curious and excited to see how I can work through it. Does the mental work make your butt get smaller, too?

Feeling good!

Sorry I've been MIA. Work was busy Friday and then yesterday was a nice family day, and I really didn't jump on the computer long enough to post an update.

Let's see. I am feeling MUCH, MUCH better in the whole 'fun bodily functions' arena. The gas pains have disappeared for good (knock on wood), that really hollow feeling in my tummy is gone (thankfully), and I'm not having any pain (woohoo!) I was t-h-i-s close to calling my surgeon to ask if I could move to mushies early when everything just kind of stopped bothering me. I really think that hollow feeling was the rest of the gas moving its way through my system. Don't get me wrong, I'm still super excited about starting mushies on Wednesday, but this week has been doable. I'm even hitting 70 grams of protein most days without protein shakes (which make me want to hurl right now!) Between 1 cup of greek yogurt at 24 grams of protein and a venti latte (homemade or Starbucks) at 15 grams, I can pack in nearly 40 grams of protein before noon. Not too shabby.

I had a small NSV yesterday. We took the kids to see a movie (it was free) and DD (just turned 2) only lasted about 30 min, so we decided to wander the mall for awhile instead. Pre-pre-op (got that?), I would get so tired and sweaty within 20 min of walking the mall. I made it almost two hours yesterday without feeling sore, sweaty, or tired! It's amazing how much of a difference even 35 lbs can make. My hips didn't ache, the bottoms of my feet didn't hurt, and while I got warm, I wasn't dripping with sweat. Love those NSVs!

We're putting up the tree this afternoon. Please send me don't-kill-DH-if-he-whines vibes. He's not much into this kind of stuff, but dammit, we're going to have a nice family afternoon!

Just a bit of babbling...

Oh, the gas! It is still hanging around and making itself known once or twice per day. Fortunately, walking and/or GasX seems to do the trick. But dang, that pain is frickin' fierce. It is s-l-o-w-l-y getting better, and I think it's the full liquids, so I'm hopeful as I move into mushies, it'll completely go away.

I'm really enjoying my soup, yogurt, and pudding, but of course, now I'm dreaming about mushies. Cheese grits topped with a poached egg sounds heavenly. As does ricotta cheese mixed with an egg and some parm, baked, and topped with marinara and mozz. As does cream of wheat mixed with an egg (to add some thickening and protein). As does hummus...and cottage cheese...and oatmeal...tofu...and... Can you tell I'm excited about starting mushies? :)

One thing that has been bothering me is the gnawing hunger in my belly. I get satisfied on some soup or yogurt, but that hollow, gnawing feeling never goes away. It's getting quite old. The ONLY thing keeping me from going crazy on a big fat cheeseburger or something else is the fear of messing up my band. Good thing I'm a rule follower, or I'd be shoveling food down my throat right now.

I guess that's all I have to babble about today. Hmmm, the lack of food must be affecting my babbling!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Why do all my post titles start with a song title? I have no idea!

So, today really is a beautiful day in my neighborhood. Let me count the ways:

• No shoulder pain (knock on wood)!
• No gas pain (double knock on wood)!
• I lost 11.8 lbs this week!
• I've lost 35.2 lbs in 3 weeks!!
• I have officially gone from super obese to morbidly obese. Never thought I'd be so happy to be morbidly obese!
• I just ate about 1/2 cup of the most wonderful, tasty, beautiful, out-of-this-world yogurt. My first "solid" food in 3 weeks!
• I discovered that 1 cup of greek yogurt has 24 grams of protein and has virtually the same nutrition facts as a protein shake. Screw the shakes! (I knew it was high, just didn't realize how high.)
• I am looking forward to a very tasty soup lunch. My second "solid" in 3 weeks!
• I love exclamation points!

You see? It really is a great day here! I am so excited. My clothes are already fitting looser, although I realize at my size, it's probably going to take in the neighborhood (there I go again) of 50 lbs to lose a size and/or for people to notice. I'm okay with that, though, as I'm really not ready to answer questions yet. I should probably start rehearsing my lines though, because it's probably coming sooner than later.

I do have to say, while eating my first couple bites of yogurt, I realized I was randomly sipping on my water. Duh! This is probably going to be the hardest bandster rule for me - I usually drink copious amounts of water while I eat. But I put my spoon down, timed 20 min, and then continued to eat my yogurt until I felt comfortably satisfied but not full. I saved the other half for later this morning, if I want it. Otherwise, it can be an afternoon snack. My dietician only calls for no drinking for 20 min after eating, but I think I'm going to err on the side of caution and go for 45-60 min. I'm dang thirsty, though, so we'll see. Mornings are going to be the roughest, because I wake up super-thirsty, and getting in enough water before eating breakfast might prove challenging. I may have to start drinking while I'm getting ready! The lifestyle changes have begun...

Holy gas pain

I was in such pain from gas today that I was starting to kind of wonder if something was wrong. It was stuck in my left side, right at the bottom of my rib cage, and it was shooting pains and hurt to breathe deep. It was awful!

Fortunately, I had some Gas X strips (thanks, girls!) and sucked down three of those. About 30 min later, it finally subsided. And since we're all friends here, I won't lie - this was my motto for about 10 min:


DH was getting concerned, because I was almost in tears, it was so bad. And he knows I'm not a wimp. He was convinced it was more than gas, but I told him this seems to be a common problem at this stage of recovery. I promised him I'd call the doc in an hour if it wasn't better, which it was. Honestly, I was almost as concerned as him.

So, was this normal? It hurt so bad, I am tempted to preempt any more pain and just suck on Gas X strips 24/7. I won't, but dang, the pain can STAY AWAY. This was seriously, by a mile and a half, the most pain I've had since surgery.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work I go...

Back to work for me. I'm feeling fine. Hardly even a twinge of pain. I did have some major shoulder pain last night, and I am praying it's just some residual gas pain and not that horrid referred-diaphram-pain I keep hearing about. It feels better so far today, so I am keeping my fingers crossed!

I had one protein shake spread out throughout the day yesterday, and I did really well with it. I'm getting progressively hungrier, though, so I am currently sipping on an entire protein shake for breakfast (a Muscle Milk Light - 8.5 oz, 160 cal, 20 g protein). Not sure if I'll get it all down, but I didn't want to be miserable at work this morning.

Have I mentioned that I work for that organization that is famous for their cookies? I am in charge of PR/marketing/communications, and since cookie season is quickly approaching (Jan in this part of the country), I am finishing up this year's PR campaign. This includes creating marketing packages for all the local tv/radio/newspapers, and I take them all a sampler pack of cookies (one of each flavor). I have to pack them this week or next - and that means staring at lots and lots of cookies. Fortunately, when you have access to them year-round, they don't hold the same appeal they hold for your average consumer. Thankfully!

Other than that, I'm anxious for tomorrow to arrive. I can start soups, pudding, and yogurt. I also get to weigh in! It certainly is the small things in life!

EDIT: Holy moly, no way am I finishing that protein shake. I made it about half-way through before my stomach said, "WTF are you thinking? I am full!" Wow. That was a new sensation!