Someone asked about my fill level yesterday, which got me to thinking, which is always dangerous. HA!
Anyhow, I am currently at about 10.5 or 11 in a 14 cc band. I was as high as 11.5 or so, but that fill gradually got tighter until I had a small unfill about 6 months ago. If I'm being honest, I could use another small unfill, but I'm not PB'ing, so I am going to ride it out for another 10 lbs or so to see if it loosens up at all.
But here's what I was thinking. I never got that FULL feeling. Ever. Even when I was too tight. I have always had that "full up top, still hungry down below" feeling. Like my pouch was phsyically full, but it didn't really do anything for the sensation of hunger.
That being said, my feelings of hunger have diminished greatly. I honestly think it's learned. It's 90% a head game. I know, I know, everyone already knows it's a head game. It's not like this is earth-shattering, breaking news. But it is for me. I think I finally have accepted that the band has done more for my head than it did for my stomach.
I have been banded almost 18 months, and I am just kind of used to how my hunger levels feel. I rarely feel REALLY hungry, and I rarely feel REALLY full. Don't get me wrong, I get hungry, but it's not a consuming hunger. It's more like a "I should eat something, because I'm feeling a bit weak/headachy/hollow." Likewise, I do get full, but it's never a "I just ate so much, I'm gonna bust" feeling. It's more like a "I've had some food, and that's enough. It's too much work to eat more" feeling.
I guess my point is I was looking for this elusive FULL feeling, which is why I ended up too filled. It never happened. But my hunger is now totally manageable. It doesn't control my every waking thought now. There are days where I wish I could just eat to feel that FULL feeling, but of course, I can't. Which is the whole point of the band, right?
And with that, I'm proud to announce I am down 130 lbs! And my BMI is now 35, on the nose. Sweet!
Congrats! 130 that is AMAZING
ReplyDeleteThat's great Amy!
ReplyDeleteWow Amy - 130 pounds is amazing!
ReplyDeleteWow! 130 lbs is fantastic! I am never hungry and really need to get over the head hunger.
ReplyDeleteWow! I am in AWE of your success, simply wonderful- congrats on YOUR hard work it is paying off :)
ReplyDeleteAmazing! Bitch! You're beating me again... I am at 127... I guess I should lay off the Cheesesteaks and Soft Pretzels and get back to the Gym... See how I turned this comment around to make it about me? You are doing incredible! And I miss you lots! You put the Support in Support Group, now it's just a group...LOL.
ReplyDelete130 lbs!!! Holy crap. That is amazing!!! You have done an awesome job. You are a poster girl for success. Keep doing it.
ReplyDeleteSweet indeed Amy!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the 130lbs!! I'm slowly catching up to you. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI think I've arrived at the same place you are. I ended up being too tight because I kept looking for that I'm full I don't need to eat for hours feeling and I never ever got that. I'm never completely full but I'm more satisfied then I used to be. I think it's because I eat what I want as long as it fits in my daily calories. That seems to work for me.
Congrats on 130 and thanks for the very thought-provoking comments about the mental aspect of the band, hunger and weight loss. I'm really doing lots of thinking about this stuff in this pre-band surgery period I'm in for the next few months...
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